Me, If I Were British

More notes from the lunatic fringe: Arrest after Stags owner attack

A man has been arrested after the owner of Mansfield Town was attacked following his side's defeat in a crucial League Two relegation match.

Police confirmed they were called to the club's boardroom just before 1700 BST on Saturday after an attack on Keith Haslam.

He suffered minor head injuries and was released from the King's Mill Hospital following treatment.

A 45-year-old local man was arrested on suspicion of assault.

He was being questioned at Mansfield police station on Sunday afternoon.

The Stags were defeated 1-0 at home to Rotherham and are now almost certain to be relegated to non-league football.

In a sense this is every disgruntled fan's dream come true. Hell, I still get the urge to slap Bill Bidwell silly from time to time.

Scott Spiezio: A Dangerous Man

The long arm of California law is looking for the colorful Cardinal:

An arrest warrant has been issued by the Irvine Police Department for Cardinals utilityman Scott Spiezio on six charges stemming from a crash in late December.

The warrant alleges driving under the influence, driving under the influence with a blood alcohol content of .08 percent or more, hit and run, aggravated assault, assault and battery.

The 35-year-old Spiezio, who missed more than a month last season while receiving treatment for substance abuse, was not in the lineup for Wednesday's exhibition game against St. Louis University at Jupiter, Fla.

Cardinals manager Tony La Russa told an Associated Press reporter in Jupiter that he did not have specifics on the warrant and had not spoken to Spiezio.

"I had heard there was an incident in California," La Russa said. "I didn't think anything would come of it.

Spiezio's agent, Barry Meister, did not immediately return a message left by The Associated Press.

Authorities in Irvine, a suburb of Los Angeles, provided the following narration of events before and after the crash, which occurred at 12:20 a.m. on Dec. 30, a Sunday:
Spiezio was seen consuming several vodka drinks at a bar in nearby Newport Beach, Calif., and then driving away in his 2004 BMW. Witnesses saw his car speeding, cutting across lanes and crossing into oncoming traffic before driving over a curb and crashing into a fence at Campus and Carlson avenues, a short distance from his condominium.

Other witnesses saw a man they identified as Spiezio get out of the car and run. Police officers who arrived at the scene found the car, with both of its front tires blown, and verified it was Spiezio’s.

Spiezio allegedly went from the crash site to his condo complex, where a friend noticed that he was disheveled and apparently injured. The friend brought Spiezio into the friend's apartment and tried to clean him up, then Spiezio vomited inside the condo, police said.

When the friend said something about the vomit, Spiezio allegedly became angry and attacked the man, "punching him repeatedly and then throwing him against a wall," according to a statement by the Orange County district attorney’s office.

Lt. Rick Handfield, spokesman for the Irvine Police Department, said Spiezio never has talked to investigating officers, who began looking for him the morning of the alleged incidents.

I guess even if you are Scott Spiezio, you can run but you can't hide.

And you certainly shouldn't drive.

I Guess I Won't Draft Him For My Fantasy Team

Urbina sentenced to 14 years in prison

Former Major League baseball pitcher Ugueth Urbina was sentenced to 14 years in prison for the attempted murder of five workers on his family's ranch, the Attorney General's Office announced Wednesday.

...

The 32-year-old free agent was accused of joining a group of men in attacking and injuring workers with machetes and pouring gasoline on them at his family's ranch, located about 25 miles south of Caracas.

"The ruling was too severe," said Jose Antonio Baez, a former attorney who represented Urbina.

Urbina repeatedly has denied involvement with the violence, saying he was sleeping at the time of the attack.

The pitcher's lawyer, Jose Luis Tamayo, has said that Urbina surprised the workers by showing up at his ranch that night while they were bathing in the pool without permission. Urbina spoke sharply to them, but later left and went to sleep, according to Tamayo.

Urbina, a two-time All-Star, last pitched in the major leagues with the Phillies in 2005. He's 30th on the all-time saves list with 237.

The cache of being a Major Leaguer sure ain't what it used to be. You can't even attempt to set fire to anyone anymore.

On Second Thought I'll Just Order The Gyro

Man's ear bitten off in Greek soccer brawl

Four men have been arrested on the island of Crete after part of a man's ear was bitten off during a brawl after Greece's 4-1 loss to Turkey in a European Championship qualifier.

The incident occurred Saturday near the town of Ierapetra during a fight between Bulgarian workers and local Greek men who had been watching the match on television, police said Tuesday.

Local businessman Dimitris Tsimbibakis was hospitalized after a man bit his ear. He told authorities he had intervened to try and break up the fight but was beaten by four Bulgarian men.

The fight apparently started after the Bulgarian men cheered Turkey's goals.

Your team loses 4-1 AND you get your ear bitten off. OK, that's worse than getting screwed by NHL refs.

Oh, That's F&^%ing Spiffy

La Russa arrested:

Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was jailed by the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Department early this morning on a charge of suspicion of driving under the influence, according to a police report obtained by the Post-Dispatch.

La Russa, 62, was booked at 4:07 a.m. local time after Jupiter police conducted the traffic stop.

The arrest potentially represents La Russa’s first offense, according to the report.

The Palm Beach County Sheriff placed the report online before most players had arrived at the team’s spring training complex.

La Russa typically arrives at Roger Dean Stadium around 7 a.m.

A release from the Jupiter Police Department said the traffic stop had happened around midnight. The police report said he had been given a field sobriety test that showed La Russa’s blood alcohol level was 0.093. Florida law considers 0.080 driving under the influence. He gave two breath samples at Palm Beach County Jail before being booked.

La Russa was found inside his stalled dark blue Escalade SUV at Frederick Small Blvd. and Military Trail, about 1 1/2 miles from the stadium and less than a mile from the manager’s spring residence, the release from Jupiter police said.

La Russa was found asleep behind the wheel with his foot on the vehicle’s brake pedal. When an undercover officer told him to put the car in park, the Cardinals manager complied, according to a release.

A report filed by Jupiter police said that the Cardinals manager was breathing but that initial attempts to rouse La Russa by "repeated knocks on the window" on the driver’s side window had failed.

Well this gets the 2007 season off with a bang.