Oh Get A Life

Oh those poor, poor picked upon Detroit Red Wings fan....they have it so fucking tough. In the aftermath of losing a game in OT while two players were forced it sit because they violated NHL rules for lying about "injuries" that would magically keep them from skating in the ice dancing exhibition that is the NHL All Star game but would allow them to play for real the moment the season started back up, we are all treated with this whine:

Even if the Red Wings won 8-0 instead of losing 3-2 in OT, the dislike and possibly out-and-out hatred pointed in Gary Bettman's direction would have reached firestorm status.

Given that the Wings lost the services of Henrik Zetterberg and were able to eke out a point without their top two forwards, top defenceman, their rock-steady second-pair defenceman (Brad Stuart), but lost thanks to a series of bizarre bounces and some penalty calls that will spout new conspiracy theories, given all the "hugging" that was going on...This is gonna go down as one of the ugliest moments in Red Wings Nation's collective memory, and the venom pointed at Chairman Mao's well deserved.

OMG almost one whole game without your top two forwards and defensemen! What a tragedy! And you know there has to be a conspiracy at high levels in the NHL because, screw the Stanley Cup, it is a late January match-up with Columbus that everyone wants to win.

I'm mean, how will Detroit fans cope with only being 31-9-7?

Jeezus...you know what the Blues call playing without your top four players?

Normality.

Yes. I'm Still Bitter

Saw this over at Game Time.

And I'm not even a Hullie hater.

Its funny 'cause its true.

My Giving Nature

Word is tennis pro Nicole Vaidasova is having some emotional difficulties that are affecting her game.

I just wanted to let her know, if she needs me, I'm here for her.

Idiot Alert

Jeezus H. Christ. What exactly does it take to write for Slate? Charles Pierce (who is NOT, I repeat NOT to be confused with Charles Peirce) single handed proves it doesn't take a whole hell of a lot. The Cardinals' presence in the Super Bowl is fluky and disgraceful.

[W]e are going to be inundated with mendacious swill over the next two weeks on the subject of what a great story the Arizona Cardinals are....

We're going to hear about how they magically transformed themselves at the end of the season. We're going to hear about the remarkable comeback of Kurt Warner. We're going to hear about how marvelous it is for the National Football League that a Super Bowl championship is within the grasp of a team so thickly dripping with obvious mediocrity that it's a wonder Charlie Sheen isn't playing left guard. We are going to hear all of this because the NFL and its broadcast partners operate on the very simple premise that everybody who reports—or follows—their sport on television is a paste-eating moron.

This simple fact is that the very presence of the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl is at best a fluke and, at worst, a disgrace.

Tough words from a writer based in a city that produced, by far, the worst team to ever make a Super Bowl. The 1985 edition of the New England Patriots was a joke of a team that got utterly embarrassed in Super Bowl XX, which they lost 46-10. The Patriots managed a robust -19 yards of offense in the first half. Only the Bears showing some mercy when the game was out of hand in the second half allowed New England to finish with more than 100 yards of offense for the game. That vaunted New England rushing attack amassed 7 yards in 11 attempts for the entire game.

Granted, this was in the middle of an era of NFC dominance where the AFC lost 15 of 16 Super Bowls between 1981 and 1996. (Only the Raider's win in Super Bowl XVIII kept the AFC from complete futility.) But even in this age of relative AFC ineptitude the feebleness of the Patriots stands out. (Yes, the Broncos were creamed worse in Super Bowl XXIV, but Denver had the best record in the entire AFC that season, so just imagine how much worse the loss could have been had Cleveland or Buffalo made it that season.)

So could the Cards stink up the joint on Sunday? Sure they could, but they have high standards of sucking to meet before we starting making noises about "all-time worst" whatevers.

Hey, but maybe Pierce can back his contentions up with facts and stats. Let us read on:

They played in a landfill of a division. They won their two playoff games because Jake Delhomme of Carolina turned the ball over six times and because the Philadelphia Eagles all looked at the newspapers last Sunday and discovered they were in the NFC championship game again.

Actually, the Cards have won three playoff games this year, not two. But beyond that mistake lets check the logic here. "The Cards suck because the rest of the NFC West sucks." I guess the 2006 Colts, the 1999 Rams and the 1998 Broncos sucked as well since they also won divisions that featured no other plus .500 teams. Oh, wait a sec....all of those teams won the Super Bowl those years? Hmm...that must mean the quality of the division doesn't necessarily reflect on all the teams. Who knew?

Oh, and Carolina and Philadelphia, who collectively turned the ball over 9 times against the Cards, did so completely without defensive pressure from Arizona. Funny, I watched those games and I don't seem to remember it that way, but my eyes must be lying.

Cardinals are a glorified Arena Football League team with a soft defense and a running game unworthy of the name.

Yes, they don't have the high powered running offense of the Steelers, right? Well, let us see...the Cards racked up 3.5 yards a carry this season which ranked them 31st in the league. Pittsburgh is much better than that, right? Well, the Steelers averaged 3.7 yards a carry ranking them 29th in the league. Oh yeah, that's impressive. So according to Pierce averaging 3.5 yards a carry makes you a "glorified Arena Football League team" while 3.7 yards makes you an NFL juggernaut. Gee, thanks for the tip Chuck.

They are in the position that they're in because the NFL rigs its season worse than any carny rigs his wheel. For all the macho posturing of its principal propagandists, between the jiggering of the schedule and the conniving of the draft and the socialistic revenue schemes, and the desperate grab for any mechanism that will flatten out the differences between really good teams and really bad ones, the NFL is the league that comes closest to the biddy soccer league philosophy of making sure that everyone gets a trophy.

Yeah, I mean the Cards must have won only 2 or 3 games last year. The fact they went 9-7 this year must be some sort of conspiracy!! What is that? The Cards went 8-8 last year? Oh....never mind.

But wait...didn't the Cards face a much easier schedule when compared to the worthy Steelers? Well, let us compare Pittsburgh's non-division schedule to Arizona's. The Steelers non-divisional foes went a combined 95-64-1 this season with five of those teams making the playoffs. Take that you Arizona bastards!!

What is that? The Cards non-divisional opponents went 98-61-1 (three games better than the Steelers schedule can boast) AND five of those teams made the playoffs as well? But, that's not the same! Arizona only went 1-4 against those playoff bound teams! See they are undeserving!!!! What?? Pittsburgh also went 1-4 against their non-divisional playoff bound opponents? Well....crap!

The only proof anyone should need came in the 15th game of the season, when Arizona visited New England. It already was clear this year that the Cardinals were even money to finish in the middle of the pack of any league that played in the upper latitudes, with the possible exception of the Ivies. Send them north out of the pleasure dome that the Bidwills blackjacked out of the state of Arizona, and the team did things like give up 56 points to the New York Jets, playing such shoddy defense that Brett Favre threw for six touchdowns. This, of course, ignited another outbreak of hot and steamy Favre love from the easily smitten television press corps, so we have the Cardinals to blame even for that. In Foxborough, however, in December, they simply quit.

The Patriots scored on nine of their first 10 possessions. The score was 31-0 at halftime.

My God!! That is the sort of thing that only happens when one team has nothing to play for and the other is fighting for its playoff life. You know what I mean, when one side has already won their division and are no longer in the running for home field advantage...you know, like the situation Arizona was in this year. Oh wait a sec....

Maybe that isn't the point. Maybe the point is Pittsburgh didn't go on the road for the second to last game of the season and stink up the joint! What is that? They went on the road to Tennessee and lost 31-14? Well, that's is totally different because, um...well...because Arizona sucks!!!!

Bear in mind over the next week that this game will be cited as the "pivotal" moment in the Cardinals' miracle run to the Super Bowl. Ken Whisenhunt—who sat most of his offensive weapons in that game—and his staff will be the subject of gooey encomiums for cracking the whip after the loss to New England. There will be loose talk about professionalism, and about how pride was appealed to at a critical moment. And since snow is a long shot in Tampa, they might even win the game, and then there will be more of it. And it will all be nonsense.

Yeah, Whisenhunt rested his key players for a play-off run. See how that worked for him? They are only in the Super Bowl. What an idiot Whisenhunt is! Oh yeah, and even if this team wins the Super Bowl that only proves they are no good.

Who can argue with "logic" like that?

Lots Of Stuff Is Going On...

...for example, the world may be coming to an end (see the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl last August? Neither did the good Lord above I'm betting.)

The Blues are still the Blues, which means lots of injuries. (The Blues lose players the way I lose stool....in large batches.) Even with all that, the development of the team continues on pace. Berglund looks the probable rookie of the year to me, and Oshie seems to have the make-up of a star if he can stay healthy. Add those rookies with the marked improvement of Backes and Perron, and it really looks like the Blues are going places....just not this season.

The St. Louis Cardinals? Well, they re-signed Duncan and Wellemeyer. If he stays healthy, I don't see how Duncan survives the season without being traded, unless Colby Rasmus turns out to be the bust of all busts.

It is good to see that Albert wants to start beating the crap out of some baseballs already.

We shall see.

Well.....EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, let's see. Our big rivals from the Windy City follow-up their division title with an off-season that sees them sign a fan favorite away from the Cardinals, dump Jason Marquis off on an unsuspecting Rockies organization, and sign a player who put up better numbers than the AL MVP.

Oh, and they will still make another run at getting Jake Peavey.

As for the Cardinals....umm...let's see....do we talk up the shortstop who hit under .230 for about $6 million? Maybe the reliever with the ERA on the upside of 8.00? And how about taking a run at Jake Peavey ourselves? No, sorry, too rich for our blood, but rumor has it there is a left hander in an Venezuelan beer league we have an eye on. Keep those fingers crossed!

Oh, and of course we get near daily reminders from the Card's front office informing us all that it is WE who are the jerks for believing they aren't doing a bang up job.

Boy, don't *I* feel chastened.

Re-evaluating

Hey, I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I'm full of shit. This story in the PD seems to indicate that "sometimes" includes now.

Before Saturday's 5-2 victory over Columbus, Alex Steen was perhaps best known by Blues fans for his highlight-reel assist on one of B.J. Crombeen's three goals on Dec. 8.

Most of what Steen does as a third-line, checking-line winger goes unnoticed, but he showed again with two assists Saturday that he possesses uncanny vision. He scored a 5-on-3 power-play goal late in Saturday's game, but his pinpoint passes with the game still on the line defined his performance against the Blue Jackets.

Steen set up the Blues' first goal with a backhanded pass to Brad Boyes, who moved the puck quickly to Brad Winchester for a power-play goal. In the third period, Steen sent a cross-ice feed to T.J. Oshie in the slot and Oshie rifled a shot for another power-play goal....

Colaiacovo, meanwhile, had earned the reputation of being injury prone during his time in Toronto, and when he was led off the ice by teammates following his crash into the boards Friday in Carolina, many feared he had suffered another concussion.

The Blues called up defenseman Steve Wagner from Peoria Friday night, but after Wagner arrived Saturday at Scottrade Center, Colaiacovo was cleared to play and Wagner was returned to Peoria.

Colaiacovo had a stiff neck, according to the team, but he was in the lineup against Columbus and assisted on the game-winning goal by Keith Tkachuk.

In 20 games with the Blues, Steen has three goals and eight assists for 11 points. Colaiacovo, a puck-moving defenseman, has one goal and six assists for seven points.

Meanwhile, the player the Blues sent to Toronto, Lee Stempniak, has three goals and five assists in 18 games. Stempniak had scored only one goal in his first 14 games and was moved to the fourth line.

Listening to the game against Columbus I also heard Kelly Chase exclaim that Steen was the best player on the ice on either side.

And what exactly had I said before? Well....

What really sucks is we get nothing back except multiple bodies. (The way Blues players are shattering into tiny pieces these days that isn't entirely a bad thing.) Neither Steen or Colaiacovo offer much upside; they are what they are, although Colaiacovo does have some offensive skill.

At best this move feels like the Blues treading water. At worst we seem to be slipping under the water.

OK, OK...color me stupid.

What I hadn't counted on was exactly how suffocating the atmosphere as a Maple Leaf can be. Getting out from under the microscope in Toronto has obviously been beneficial for both Steen and Colaiacovo, and they have both contributed since their arrival. Colaiacovo has been an important player for a defensive corps decimated by injury, and Steen seems to offer the scoring depth this team has been lacking for years. (Stempniak is a good point maker as long as he is on one of the top two lines. Steen looks like he can provide some offense wherever he is placed.)

I still like Lee for his scrappy play, but he will always be a streaky player. Hopefully, the Toronto scribes wont rip him to shreds when he hits those periodic slow patches.

Back in St. Louis, however, it is hard not to see important pieces of an eventual turnaround in Alex and Carlo. Lets get Andy McDonald back in the lineup and see where we wind up, shall we?