Mizzou Can't Lose...

...mostly because they don't play this weekend, but they are sitting at #20 in polls and the win over the Illini looks better all the time.

Of course, Mizzou fans have been here before of late and the fall usually comes fast and furious. My prediction was for the Tigers to lose by a single point next week in the nationally televised game against the Corn#$ckers, and I'll stand by that. Mizzou has been surprisingly resilient but as erratic on offense as ever.

At least I have a week to enjoy the lofty heights. Next week it is off the cliff we go.

Ouch!

Goddammit Yadier, are you sure this is how I get the candy out?

A post on the Guardian's soccer blog had some harsh word's for Arsenal's striker, Emmanuel Adebayor:

Tis only a matter of time before those who lauded him so vociferously realise that his first touch has all the elan, grace and subtlety of a rapist.

The same words could apply to Chris "Dry Hump" Duncan and his left field antics, let alone any extracurricular ones. If only what happened in the clubhouse, stayed in the clubhouse.

We've Won Three Games!

Which is thinnest - stone soup, Kate Moss or the 2005 Illini depth chart?

Today's Post-Dispatch article on the Illini brings good news:

Will Davis (Defensive End-Illinois) is 4th in the country in sacks and isn't even a starter...Davis already has equaled Walker's team-leading sack total of 2006, and the Illini are focused on making their pass rush a team strength. That didn't seem possible in recent seasons. Illinois had 12 sacks in Zook's first season to rank 116th out of 117 teams. Last year the Illini pushed that number to 23, good for 82nd nationally. Seven players have at least one sack through four games, and a deep defensive line has helped keep players fresh.

"We bring a bunch of defensive linemen to play every game," Davis said. "So there's always a good rotation. Coach tells us to go full speed, and if you get tired you tap your head because we have a lot of people that can go in."

And this new-found depth brought some hysterical snark from The Goat:

"Depth?!? Ladies and gentlemen, I'm just a simple Illini fan. I've been in a coma since the 2002 Sugar Bowl and recently awoke. Your world frightens and confuses me! I don't understand these complicated terms."

The Baseball Gods Bite Back

I suppose there was always going to have to be a cosmic payback for the Broglio for Brock trade. I'm pretty sure it's official with the relative fortunes of Dan Haren and Mark Mulder.

Paging Dr. Obvious

"You say your left leg hurts, huh? Well, you should try to favor the other leg."

As a layman, I am getting tired of all the medical jargon routinely tossed around by sports trainers and doctors who just assume I know what they are talking about. From today's P-D:

Head trainer Barry Weinberg confirmed a pending examination and classified Mulder's "soreness" in the front of his shoulder as "not a good sign."

Adding to the gravity of the matter, Dr. George Paletta confirmed that an "owie" like is this aways a cause for concern. "If his 'boo-boo' is serious it's best to deal with it now."

Thank you Cardinals for an implosion that has reduced me to snarking about Barry Weinberg's diagnoses. We're staring at a post-season that could include the Cubs, both the Yankees and Mets, the Red Sox, and even possibly both LA teams. Or, god help us, the Phillies could see October. This is the post-season equivalent of a cheese grater to the balls.

I, for one, am not a well man right now and will require at least as much off-season recuperation as Mulder to be ready for next season.

Real Collinsville FC United 09

Does the IM have any additional thoughts/insights into the latest on the MLS giving St. Louis a team for the 2009 season?

As someone who plans to eventually move back to the Midwest, it's exciting. I can't bring myself to care too much for the MLS from my exile here in Florida. There is no team within 1200 miles and my strict policy of never rooting for a Florida-based sports team, doesn't make even the remote chance of a franchise here appealing. As for closer to home, Chicago and KC are right out.

UPDATE (by IM):

I think Southlandish should hold out for the establishment of "Farmersville 1821", nickname "The Irish Daze", kit green & white horizontal stripes. After all Farmersville has much going for it:

Farmersville is located off of Interstate 55 at Exit 72. There are currently two gas stations located at this exit as well as three eateries, which are Subway, Champ's Bar & Grill, and Arts Restaurant. Farmersville currently has festival days entitled "Irish Days" which usually begins the second or third week of June and last three days.

I have even identified a likely spot for the stadium near downtown.



And for those who think Farmersville may not be big enough to support a team, I point to the following demographic information:

For every 100 females there were 86.9 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 81.8 males.

Sounds like the dating opportunities are endless! Pack your bags boys!

Sporting Ennui

The Cardinals have imploded in a spectacular fashion and O.J. Simpson is back in the news. If that isn't enough reason to retreat from the world, I don't know what is. On the bright side, I get to enjoy another four days of seeing 2-1 next to the Illini in the standings. And then the conference schedule begins....

Surrender (And Not The Good Cheap Trick Variety)

Displaying the kind of resiliency usually only witnessed in the Italian military, the Cards dropped yet another home game to the Cubbies this afternoon.

I'm not sure what grates on me the most, the God awful lineup or the God awful execution. That they have (again!) pissed away a quality start by Looper just adds to the misery. Someone needs to euthanize this team...and quickly.

And I think La Russa has to announce that he isn't coming back. This team has quit on him and on the fans.

Can I Start Ignoring The Cardinals Yet?

So, a pitching staff cobbled together from other teams rejects and our own reclamation projects isn't good enough to win (even) the National League central? Who knew??

Oh yeah, everyone on earth just about.

Aw well....it is probably for the best that this team didn't make the playoffs. It was going to be no small feat to beat the 1996 edition of the Cards as the worst team to ever make the post-season.

I'm just gonna rest up and wait for the Cards to sign some pitchers who can really contribute next season...like David Wells or Steve Trachsel. (Kill me now.)

So Are Sports Writers Retarded Or Lying Bastards?

I'm already tired of the moralizing asses I'm reading in the papers or seeing on ESPN telling me what a bad person Rick Ankiel is for using HGH to recover from arm surgery.

"Wait a second?? Arm surgery?? I thought HGH was helping Ankiel hit home runs? That is what every sports writer has said."

Well, every sports writer is wrong. HGH won't help you develop power hitting ability, although it might help with the healing process after surgery.

"But Ankiel was a pitcher! He couldn't hit the ball far before! He must have done something shady!"

You mean like when he was in high school and hitting 450 foot home runs, and smacking balls into the upper decks of professional stadiums? The truth is Ankiel always had the power he is displaying nowadays, it wasn't cultivated since the HGH use. Also, the HGH use only occurred while Ankiel was trying to be a pitcher. There is no evidence that he ever used anything unusual since he gave up pitching.

What I cannot stand are sports writers putting themselves forward as holders of our moral conscience. They aren't. In fact no media personage can speak well on moral matters. The press is chock full of scumbags who are more interested in their personal aggrandizement than they are with anything to do with the public good. But being a self-righteous ass is a good way to get a book contract or a show on ESPN, unfortunately.

Were I grading the media on their performance regarding Ankiel I'd give them a "D" on getting their facts straight, an "F" on placing the incident in its proper context, and an "A+" on ill-informed dickishness.

Randomly Collected Thoughts

I haven't had much time to write lately (starting a new job don't ya know) but I've caught a few games of late.....to wit:

I. The Cards have been playing pretty well considering the starting rotation is a complete mess. I have to wonder if this team has the ability to win big games when push comes to shove.

II. Mizzou is 2-0, as I predicted, but they are playing exactly like I thought they would play. The offense is something to watch...sometimes. The defense is mostly offensive. The team still lacks any semblance of a "killer instinct" which will spell trouble...yet again.

III. The U.S. played pretty well against Brazil right up to the point we scored the first goal. After that we were pretty dire....especially up front. ("Where have you gone Brian McBride, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you...")

IV. The DC v. Chivas match on Thursday had to be the worst game played in MLS this season. BORING.

UPDATE:

I forgot to add...did you notice the Mizzou game ended 38-25??? I predicted 38-24. Pretty good, no?

A Thought

Do I really care about the revelations about Rick Ankiel and his possible use of HGH before MLB banned the substance?

No.

But I will enjoy watching the media that lionized Barry Bonds try to rip Ankiel apart.

Ah...good times.