(Get) A Sporting Life

General Manager: "He's had his problems, but we're confident they are behind him." Translation: He just found Jesus and we're hoping like hell he doesn't misplace Him before October. Manager: "The press shouldn't jump to conclusions. You don't have all the facts about his relationship with this young lady." Translation: Of course he was screwing around on the road, but he married the first woman he ever fucked in Class A ball and she's heinous.

It's well worth checking out Brian Oliver's blogging for The Guardian on the African Cup of Nations. You can also hear him on the Guardian's bi-weekly Football Weekly podcasts . They're as much travel log as football reports and provide a wonderful glimpse into the cultural context of the tourney. He's covered seven of these across the continent so this is no hippy grad student with a rucksack marveling at the wonders of Africa. He's battling a severe case of the shits, stolen passports and phones, horrible press box conditions and the general organizational chaos you'd expect from a corrupt, war-ravaged region of the world. But he's also drunk Campari with a local chief after an exhibition match in a remote village and he's clearly having the time of his life while describing a Cup that full of some fantastic, goal-laden football.

Yes, Nicole Vaidisova and Anna Ivanovic are worth the price of admission. They play tennis pretty well too.

Well, now. Lookee here : PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- Kevin Lisch scored 22 points to lead St. Louis past La Salle 81-74 on Saturday afternoon. The Bilikens (12-8, 3-3 Atlantic 10) scored eight straight points to take the lead for good at the 6:54 mark. Luke Meyer assisted with 18 points and six rebounds for St. Louis. Yves Mekonga Mbala led the Explorers (7-12, 2-4) with 18 points and four rebounds. The game remained tied midway through the second half before St. Louis started to pull away. La Salle had taken a 60-58 edge thanks to a pair of 3-pointers by Darryl Partin, but the Bilikens slowly took over control to take their biggest lead of the game, 72-64 at 4:02. St. Louis didn't hit a free throw until less than two minutes were left on the clock, but hit six more when they counted to hold on for the victory. So that is 80+ points in regulation AND a road win all in a single game. Who believes in miracles???

Minnows Havant & Waterloo grab the lead against Liverpool twice in a game Havant eventually loses 5-2. The BBC yawns and calls the Chelsea v. Wigan game the Match of the Day. They are as bad as ESPN. UPDATE: Got this from the BBC: Some years ago, there was a television advert for milk which played on the obscurity of Accrington Stanley Football Club. Up until a month ago, the same could have been said about Havant & Waterlooville. On Saturday though the south coast club from the Blue Square South stepped out of the football shadows and into the Anfield spotlight. Defying the odds, this team of part-timers, known as the Hawks, found themselves in the lead not once but twice against their illustrious millionaire rivals. To the Havant & Waterlooville faithful it was always going to be a day to remember, but scoring twice at the Kop end made it extra special. Dave Barlow, 67, took three generations of his family to the game. "Unbelievable," said Mr Barlow, from Love...

From early on this season it seemed safe to assume that the Blues were going to be buyers when the trade deadline began to loom. The surplus of defensemen offered, so the thought went, the chance to move on a goal scoring forward. However, that would be contingent upon the Blues being within legitimate striking distance of the playoffs. So that's the question: Are the Blues in the playoff race. I think the answer is "yes" but only barely. Team GP Pts 1. * Detroit 51 78 2. * San Jose 49 61 3. * Minnesota 50 59 4. Dallas 53 61 5. Anaheim 53 60 6. Calgary 50 58 7. Vancouver 50 57 8. Colorado 50 56 9. Columbus 51 56 10. Nashville 50 55 11. Phoenix 49 54 12. St. Louis 48 51 13. Edmonton 52 51 14. Chicago 50 50 15. Los Angeles 51 42 So at the All-Star break the Blues are five points out of 8th with (as happens every year for some unknown reason) games in hand. Unfortunately, the West is really bunched up this year with only LA being well and truly out of contention, so there is...

I guess at 5:51 Greenwich time it's official. Havant v. Liverpool will not be televised. I heard yesterday via the Guardian Football Weekly Podcast that it isn't even being televised in the UK. Those poor bastards are being subjected to the same Wigan v. Chelsea match that made me vomit. Wow. I thought it couldn't be any worse until I saw that the poor bastards who get Setanta will have the added indignity of tomorrow getting repeats of past Liverpool EPL matches vs. Man. U and Aston Villa from Allah knows when.

I guess I'm done complaining for the moment about DC United's off-season. Things have not gone smoothly for the club as the Veron debacle, the goalie shuffle, the Bosworth fire sale, and the Christian Gomez soap opera have all lingered for awhile. But, it seems maybe some important pieces are starting to come together: United Adds Colombian To Bolster Its Defense D.C. United added its second foreign player in as many days and bolstered its thin defensive corps yesterday, acquiring veteran central back Gonzalo Martínez from Colombian club Millonarios. Terms were not disclosed. Martinez, 32, fills a slot vacated by Bobby Boswell, who was traded to Houston last month, and will likely start in United's four-man back-line formation. Martinez was with Italian clubs Udinese, Napoli and Reggina between 2001 and 2004 before moving to the Paraguayan league to play for Olimpia and Libertad. He spent one season with Millonarios of Bogota and has made 36 appearances for Colombia's n...

Sheer mind-numbing stupidity is what ya call it: Salary dispute could be first chapter in Howard's end The Philadelphia Phillies face the first big challenge in their attempt to build a long-term relationship with powerful first baseman Ryan Howard. In the past two seasons, Howard led the majors in homers with 105 and RBIs with 285. Among National Leaguers, Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals was second for homers in that span with 81, and Matt Holliday of the Colorado Rockies was second in RBIs with 251. Howard did the damage at a super-bargain rate. Without the leverage of arbitration rights, Howard was paid $1.255 million for the past two seasons combined. The system dictated that. Howard's service time meant more than his performance. That changes now. Howard has the hammer of arbitration rights, and the Phillies will pay. How this plays out will go a long ways to determining what happens with Howard and the club. The Phillies and Howard face the largest gap of the ar...

Blues and DC United tidbits. First from the Note : Inconsistency has dotted his play all season and now St. Louis Blues defenseman Christian Backman is the subject of trade rumors as the Feb. 26 deadline approaches according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. It is believe the Blues will try to move a defenseman before the trade deadline. Backman has one more year left on his contract for $3.4 million ($2.3 million salary cap hit). “Who knows what they’re going to do?” Backman said. “I try not to think about it. I hope and still feel that they still believe in me.” Backman is a big kid who plays small; an "offensive" defenseman who doesn't score goals or pick up many assists; an "offensive" player who is deemed a liability on the power play; and a player who isn't cheap. He's a quadruple threat. The only question is what kind of dead wood would we have to take in return? Also, we were supposed to trade from our excess defensive corp to get some scoring punc...

Been too busy to post lately, so here are a few riffs about what has been on my mind: * Something is missing in your sports life when you are reading dispatches from the African Cup of Nations. * There isn't a chance in hell I can stomach the absurd hype that will soon reach a fever pitch over a NE/NY Super Bowl. I've tuned out. The Patriots run at history holds all the interest for me that Bonds' HR chase did, though in this case I imagine I will tune in for some of the actual game. As for #756, I'm pleased to say I still have no idea what the count was, where the pitch was, what it was or where the ball landed. I've never seen the AB or heard the call and only seen the first part of the swing peripherally because media saturation has made it impossible to avoid. To date, I've always managed to turn away. It's the gay porn of sports to me. * Non-League Havant & Waterlooville get to make a trip to Anfield to play Liverpool in the FA Cup's 4th Round t...

The BBC is starting to use the word "relegation" when they talk about Notts County. Notts County 1-0 Chester Adam Tann's first goal this season saw off Chester and halted Notts County's slide towards the relegation zone. The skipper put his head in where it hurts to nod home a Jason Lee flick from close range to give County a deserved win, and their first of 2008. Things might have been different but for a stunning save from the hosts' goalkeeper Kevin Pilkington two minutes before their winning goal. The Magpies stopper somehow palmed a Kevin Sandwith free-kick over the bar. If Notts drops out of League Two I won't know what to do with myself. League Two is lunatic fringe enough, thank you very kindly. I swear to God, if they drop to a non-league status I'm switching over to a Scottish side.

I've got a team that ended the season as a big disappointment and entered a busy off-season filled with comings and goings. There were major shoes to be filled and as the off season has progressed it has become an open question as to if they can possibly be filled before opening day. And I'm not talking about the Cardinals. D.C. United has been a profound disappointment during soccer's hot stove season. They have done exactly nothing to improve the squad. So far we have swapped out our starting keeper for an unproven Zach Wells, kicked Bobby Boswell to the curb, waited on the sidelines while Christian Gomez tries to decide if Persian Gulf soccer (and paychecks) are right for him, watched Moreno get another year older (and not better), saw Josh Gros go on a one year hiatus because of concussion difficulties, and, to top it off, United got the bum's rush from every South American player they looked at. Today in the 2008 MLS Draft, D.C. got three player and we have to pray...

I never thought this was gonna happen: Players pass physicals; Rolen-for-Glaus all but done Scott Rolen and Troy Glaus each passed his physical today, according to a major league source, and the paperwork needed to complete the swap of All-Star third basemen will be submitted to the commissioner's office. The trade, which will send Rolen to the Toronto Blue Jays and bring Glaus to the Cardinals, could be completed as early as this afternoon. In one sense this could be viewed as treading water. Whatever Glaus provides could have been provided by Rolen (at least theoretically.) However, the reality of this is far bigger and better for the Cardinals. The Cards will not have enough hitting or pitching this year to compete for any titles, but the Rolen situation threatened to hang over the entire season like the morning bathroom stench after a night of Michelob and LaBamba Super Burritos. In addition to waiving his no-trade clause, the Cardinals also wanted Glaus to trigger his $11.25 m...

"Another seeing-eye single! I'll hit .400 yet." Tony La Russa on the earth-shattering Josh Phelps signing: "He's going to be given the chance to make the roster because he's a guy when he comes to the plate gets your attention." Translation: A 38-year-old Pete Incaviglia in a grass skirt and pumps also got my attention at the plate. Unfortunately for him he lacked the photo of me being teabagged by a Great Dane that could have earned him a roster spot. h/t to the Goat. And here is a bonus and apropos BCTP. Believe it or not, it was the next one up on the list for posting: Manager: "He hasn't done anything to hurt his chances at a starting job." Translation: He hasn't done anything to help his chances at a starting job.

In a fit of civic pride, the St. Louis University Billikens did their best Adam Kennedy impersonation last night: They couldn't hit a fucking thing . Once you've lost a game by 41 points, as St. Louis University did to Kent State earlier this season, just about everything is going to look better by comparison. But Thursday, SLU opened its Atlantic 10 Conference season with a thud to end all thuds. Shooting abysmally in the first half and improving to awful in the second — or was it the other way around? — SLU was demolished by George Washington, 49-20 at Smith Center. It was a little bit of history. SLU's 20 points were the fewest scored in a game by anybody in Division I since the shot clock was instituted by the NCAA in 1985-86. (The previous low was 21 points, by Georgia Southern in 1997 and Princeton in 2005.) SLU made 14.6 percent of its shots to break the school mark for lowest shooting percentage in a game, though the school's record book leaves some room for deb...

With the holidays past and pitchers and catchers reporting in less than six weeks, it's time for a few more installments of The Baseball Cliché Translation Project. Without further ado: Manager: "He worked really hard in winter ball." Translation: We heard he spent a lot of time in Domincan whore houses. Agent: "He gives 110%" Translation: He's in the final year of his contract. General Manager: "He'll be a good influence on our younger players." Translation: He's spent the past few years beating his drinking problem instead of his wife. Agent: "He's a Bob Gibson-like pitcher" Translation: He's a pitcher. He has a fastball. He's black.

(Get) A Sporting Life is not the usual stop for the latest in New York Islander's news, but today is an exception. Top-prospect Okposo assigned by Islanders to Bridgeport of AHL Top prospect Kyle Okposo will begin his career in the New York Islanders organization with Bridgeport of the AHL. Fresh off a solid run in the world junior tournament, Okposo was assigned Sunday by the Islanders to their top minor league affiliate. He will practice with the Sound Tigers on Thursday and make his debut at Binghamton on Friday. Okposo's first AHL home game will be Saturday against Springfield. The right winger, chosen by the Islanders with the No. 7 pick in the 2006 draft, had a goal and five assists in seven games for the United States. The Americans finished fourth at the world juniors tournament that wrapped up Saturday in the Czech Republic. Okposo, a 19-year-old player from St. Paul, Minn., signed a three-year, entry-level contract with the Islanders last month, shortly after he left ...

"Not even a telephone pole to ram and end my misery." When I was courting the future Mrs. Southlandish, I had to drive a long, flat (and seemingly endless) 15 mile road to get to her home. Everyone who has ever driven it swears it’s at least twice as long as it actually is. That’s what I thought of when a friend of mine aptly assessed the upcoming sports year. “It’s going to be a long time until we get to September and anything we can get excited about.” To put it charitably, the Illini basketball team is abysmal. The Rose Bowl thumping stings, the Cardinals off-season was dreary even before we re-signed Aaron Fucking Miles for stupid money and I think it is safe to say we won’t be competitive in the NL Central in 2008. The only bright spot on the sports horizon is word that the Illini football recruiting continues to be stellar. That means waiting until the August 30 Braggin’ Rights Game for any reasonable hope of sporting excitement in my little corner of the world. I gues...

From the PD : The Cardinals took their first gamble of 2008 on Thursday by signing free-agent pitcher Matt Clement to an incentive-laden, one-year deal that closes a hole in their rotation and creates the possibility of a payoff for 2009 as well. The first team willing to guarantee Clement a contract more than five weeks before pitchers and catchers report to spring training, the Cardinals acquired Clement for $1.5 million in base pay and $5.25 million in appearance incentives. The deal also includes a club option for $8.75 million next season. A series of escalators based on innings pitched could jack up the option's value to $10 million if the 33-year-old righthander works 200 innings. A couple of things here: 1) I hope Clement does well. I remember him from his pre-injury days and I certainly would have liked to see THAT pitcher in a Cards uniform. 2) Why do the Cards do this? They don't seem to go out and sign pitchers as much as they buy a stack of lottery tickets and hope...