(Get) A Sporting Life

Notts County could have silenced once and for all any relegation fears this season when they took on Mansfield at home today. What's that you hear? Relegation fears of course : Notts County had keeper Russell Hoult to thank as they earned a point against fellow League Two strugglers Mansfield. Hoult had injured himself in the warm-up but struggled through the 90 minutes much to the relief of his side. The keeper pulled off several fine saves while Nathan Arnold also rattled the angle of bar and post with a fierce shot for Mansfield. It took Notts County 70 minutes to test keeper Carl Muggleton for the first time through Danny Crow. So it wasn't a complete disaster, but this was a game Notts should have won. Mansfield has seven games remaining and can top out at 55 points. Notts is sitting at 41 points with six games (18 possible points) to go. That makes it 15 points from safety . Let the countdown begin.

This post is both a bit off sports topics (though I have always considered drinking a sport) and entirely out of character as it criticizes an innovative new way to mainstream public drinking in America. Regardless... TALKER 2 - USA Today A3 - "Some food and alcohol with your flick? Cinemas hope so: It's all part of a nationwide trend to lure more people in to theaters for a pleasing (and profitable) time." The number of first-run theaters serving booze has grown from 14 in 1997 to more than 400 today, says a theater-owners' group. This has train wreck written all over it. I suppose if you are married to someone who forces you to go to a movie theater it has merit, otherwise I think I saw my last Big Picture with the release of Casino Royale. I have come to consider theater visits among the worst experiences in life right after prostate exams and Devil Rays games. We pretty much limit our visits to once every 2-3 years when the horror of the last experience has suffi...

My fastball pops in the mitt like a cotton ball. That's Thompson on the mound. When Springer came in The Goat looked at me and said, "Wow. I don't think Springer throws that hard but at least you can actually hear the ball pop in the catcher's mitt." I'm glad Thompson is saying he's learned to contain his emotions. Here's hoping he's actually learned how to pitch because his heat up in the zone isn't exactly going to be fear inducing to opposing lineups.

Yes. That that beer and brat are sitting on the Cards dugout. 72, sunny and breeze. A Chamber of Commerce day, as they say. A pre-game tailgate brewski and off into the park. Not too much of note yesterday. No Pujols, Molina or Glaus in town, the latter being the a guy I'd like to see swing the bat in person. Thompson looked pretty good on the mound. Had a rough 3rd but that was in no small part because of a Jimenez brain fart at third when he back up on a ball instead of charging and then instead of making the tag on the runner trying to advance to third or throwing across to first, he instead tossed the ball to second and just missed the force by, oh, 8 to 10 seconds. Then some jackass just behind us started bellowing at La Russa for not coaching that properly. It actually perked up Duncan's ears, who was sitting next to La Russa in a chair on the field. Before I could get the words out of my mouth, the guy next to me said, "Yeah, that was a coaching mistake, but I think...

Jeff Gordon is not approaching the Cardinals season with an air of impending doom. Why the Cards may not be as bad as feared 1. Against all odds, the temporary rotation is shaping up . Adam Wainwright appears prepared for the lead role leaving Jupiter. Free agent pick-up Kyle Lohse showed up ready to pitch, which was a pleasant surprise. Most mid-camp additions would need a couple of extra weeks to get ready. Lohse already has impressed his new team. Braden Looper just threw an encouraging 5 1/3 innings, relocating his sinking stuff while getting eight groundball outs. Prior to that, he got hammered. I'll believe nothing until the season has cycled through the rotation a couple of times. As I read them we have a number 2 starter in Wainwright as our stopper, and four other guys who are all #4 or #5 starters in every other role. It is the sort of situation every team can go through because of injuries, and you certainly hope you can get by until reinforcements arrive, but try as I m...

During their road trip, the St. Louis Blues visited "the Professor" Ron Caron this week . Somehow, in the midst of the reminiscing and story-telling, the former Blues GM managed to trade Brad Boyes to the Vancouver Canucks for an aging, second line defenseman. More surprisingly, he also signed winger Brendan Shanahan to a multi-year offer sheet. Current Blues GM president John Davidson seemed blindsided by the series of events. "I don't know what happened," Davidson gasped in exasperation. "One minute Caron was pointing to a signed photograph of Garth Butcher, and while I was distracted, we lost our best scorer." In an announcement the next day, National Hockey League officials immediately pronounced Caron's action to be in violation of league policies "like tampering, or something," and awarded the Blues' first round pick in the 2009-2019 drafts to the New Jersey Devils. When the New York Rangers objected that, in fact, Brendan Shana...

The Goat e-mailed me a dissenting view of the Lohse deal: I really have to disagree with IM's post regarding the Lohse signing. Yes, the Cardinals suck this year and everyone knows we're going to suck but we are a far cry from the Kansas City Royals. Having two top of the rotation starters (Carpenter and Mulder) injured doesn't make you the Kansas City Royals. If Carpenter doesn't go down at the beginning of last season we're in it until the end (and possibly win the division). You can't possibly prepare for that kind of injury especially when you don't have the payroll flexibility or farm system of the Yankees or Red Sox. All we can hope for is to somehow keep our heads above water until those two guys (and Clement) are healthy and that's what the Lohse signing is all about. All I have to do is look ahead one season and I have a pretty big smile on my face when I think about the possibility of having a healthy Carpenter, Wainwright, a healthy Mulde...

From the PD : The Cardinals addressed an innings-short starting rotation Thursday by reaching agreement with durable free agent righthander Kyle Lohse on a one-year, $4.25 million contract, pending Lohse's passing a team physical this morning. The move occurred three days after the Cardinals said four of the five pitchers projected as starters during the season could be unavailable for the March 31 opener. Loshe is a poor man's Jeff Suppan. (Just allow that to sink in for a moment.) Adding Lohse will improve this rotation. (Just allow that to sink in for a moment.) Digested that? I'll wait while you attempt to choke down some Pepto Bismol. Lohse, 29, amassed a 9-12 record and 4.62 ERA while splitting last season between the Cincinnati Reds and the Philadelphia Phillies. Just as important, he made 34 starts and worked 192 2/3 innings. The Cardinals investigated trading for him in 2006 before the Minnesota Twins shipped him to the Reds. "He's got a really good arsen...

I'll see your silly little cliché and raise you three. Talk about being thrown a hanging curve. I don't think I've received as rich a gift as this since my neighbor got engaged and had to give away his porn collection. Generations from now anthropologists will point to this as the textbook example of Spring Training gibberish: So La Russa isn’t sweating Izturis’ poor offensive and defensive start this spring. “You just watch, he’s a real good looking fielder,” La Russa said. “He has great, quiet hands. He has an accurate arm. He’s very quick. Picks a ball up like it’s nothing. Very impressive. “I liked him from the first time I saw him with the Dodgers. He is really fun to watch catch the ball. “Offensively, he hasn’t had a big hitting spurt or anything like that, but he’s putting the ball in play. He’s working. He’s also shown, by the way, good legs. That’s an important part of the game. “He’s a very useful offensive player. He can do anything. He can put the ball in play,...

With any luck, by this time tomorrow Penn State will have mercifully ended the Illini's mongrel of a season.

I saw this comment over at St. Louis GT talking about new Blue Cam Janssen: On The Roll Home on 1380 today, they had John Davidson on talking to Bernie and Randy. J.D. said it shouldn’t be a surprise No. 55 hasn’t played much. He’s missed the entire year with injury, didn’t get much time in the American League and is on a new team with new coaches and a new system. He said over the summer they’re going to work on his skill with the puck. Said he has some raw skill that could be developed. He had me all the way up until the last point. That seems to be the way with hockey; either you got it or you don't. I can remember a few years ago watching a Blues scrimmage match during training camp. There was one player who just seemed to always be in good offensive positions; the puck was constantly finding its way to his stick; and if there was a opening in the slot he was filling it quickly. (ed. -That's quite possibly the filthiest thing I've ever written.) That player? Reed Low. ...

Miss May or the Cardinals number four starter Oh yeah, Fugly. It's March 12, four weeks since pitchers and catchers reported: The Cardinals project a rotation of Wainwright, Looper and three others from a mix including Anthony Reyes, Todd Wellemeyer, Pineiro, Brad Thompson, Mike Parisi and Kyle McClellan. Meanwhile, the Cardinals wait for Matt Clement and Mark Mulder to return from shoulder surgeries. This sounds about as promising as Hugh Hefner announcing the following: Playboy projects a Playmate lineup of Tori Spelling, Amy Winehouse and three others from a mix including Oprah, Maggie Thatcher, Eleanor Roosevelt, Joan Rivers, Camilla Parker-Bowles and Courtney Love. Meanwhile, the magazine waits for Carrot Top and Steve Buscemi to return from sex change operations. If Mrs. Sounthlandish ever reads this, I am soooo never getting laid again.

More from the hell that is the Notts County season : Paul Mayo's blunder gifted striker Jamie Forrester his 11th goal of the season as Lincoln won to push Notts County closer to the relegation zone. Mayo was under no pressure as a cross came in, but the County defender managed to head his clearance straight to Forrester, who fired home. County almost equalised when Ryan Jarvis saw a strike parried by Lincoln goalkeeper Alan Marriott. County's best chance fell to Mayo, but his header was cleared off the line. All I can say is thank God I don't have to actually see any of it. Now, if I could only find a way to keep the Blues out of the media...oh, that's right...the NHL has already managed to do that for us.

It's a three year deal , but the last couple of years of most NFL contracts are like selfless politicians--rarely glimpsed and mostly theoretical. Even with that, this makes little sense to me. You won’t pay Isaac Bruce a 2 million dollar roster bonus, because you feel that’s too much for an aging #2/#3 receiver. Fair enough. But then you turn around and give a 4 million dollar guarantee to a 38 year old quarterback who’s suffered two concussions in the last 13 months? What, was Troy Aikman unwilling to leave the broadcast booth? This signing, at this price, says Marc Bulger is our quarterback, but only kinda. Maybe you believe he needs to be pushed, to play with a little fear of losing his job (ala Bernie Miklasz), so you bring in a quarterback whose had a lot of success with the new OC (you can hear the locker room chants now: “Coordinator’s Pet, Coordinator’s Pet”). Or maybe you are worried about Bulger’s durability, and anticipate him missing significant playing time. ...

The Cardinals could manage only two field goals against the swarming Dodger’s defense in Saturday’s pre-season contest , losing 20-6. Meanwhile, the Dodgers marched up and down the field and finished with a two touchdown victory, with Rafael Furcal racking up 183 yards in total offense. Meanwhile, Braden Looper was sacked four times and hurried all day. After the game, head coach Tony LaRussa commented, "Shoot, we'll get that figured out."

You know...one would think if you support enough sports teams there would be a shotgun effect so that at any given time one of them would be playing decently. You might think that, but you'd be wrong. Let us look at the state of things for yours truly: The Blues : This team's inability to score is downright embarrassing. The sad truth is it is not possible to excel in this league without a number one center, and the Blues have been without one for the better part of a decade. (Even when Dougie Weight was younger he was more of a good #2 than a real #1.) So we are left with the sorry display of a team that doesn't have anything to play for anymore. Combine that with a monster nine game road trip, which we are already 0-2 on, and it is gonna be a very difficult month of March. The Billikens : Remember when I said something about how the Bills were starting to get the hang of the Majerus system? Well scratch that, I must've been drunk. SLU is getting drilled, absolutely dr...

"We've gotten third strike calls on pick-off attempts." From ESPN's lead article on the UNC-Duke game: What the Blue Devils occasionally lacked in poise and execution, they made up for in grit and aggression. They harassed Hansbrough into 13 missed shots and never let him get to the foul line -- first time that's happened since his freshman year, when Carolina was eliminated from the 2006 NCAA Tournament by George Mason. (And still the Dukies were left screaming that Hansbrough got preferential treatment from the refs. The oft-repeated chant: "Tyler travels every time!" And it wasn't just being screamed by the body-painted student horde. Also raucously shouting it were the always-demure Krzyzewski women, wife Mickie and daughters all in the act. My heart bleeds, BLEEDS for the Dukies. They can't catch a break. I don't think I've seen them get a fair call at Cameron since the Carter Administration. It's almost as bad as the way umps ...

I'll ask it again: Sidney Ponson ? Really? Scouts for the Cardinals, Arizona Diamondbacks, Seattle Mariners, Houston Astros, Texas Rangers and Kansas City Royals clustered behind a chain-link fence to watch Ponson's latest reincarnation. A pitcher who once huffed and puffed to muster an 88 mph fastball threw with little obvious effort and significantly more velocity. "I'm throwing nice and free again. I don't have to force anything," Ponson said. Weighing about 20 pounds less than when the Cardinals released him 20 months earlier, Ponson exhibited a 93-94 mph fastball, a slider that touched 88 and a changeup that hit 84. An animal with bite replaced the rolling curveball seen two years ago. "I'm here to rock and roll," Ponson said afterward. Someone is pulling my leg.

Well, Santino Quaranta has put the second stage of his comeback journey behind him; he has made the team : Forward-midfielder Santino Quaranta signed a multiyear contract with D.C. United yesterday, completing his return to the club with which he started his MLS career seven years ago. Quaranta, 23, began a tryout with United last week and appeared in two exhibitions Wednesday against Chivas USA at a tournament near San Antonio. Terms were not disclosed, but Quaranta said his base salary is lower than the $105,000 he earned with Los Angeles and New York last season. Several bonus incentives were included, he said. Quaranta, a Baltimore native, is expected to travel with the team to Jamaica for Wednesday's first leg of the Champions' Cup quarterfinal series against Harbour View. With Ben Olsen recuperating from ankle injuries, Quaranta might see considerable playing time on the right side of midfield this spring. Evidently, he must have impressed because United wasted no time in...

I'll I can say is at least Notts County is trying to right the ship. Here we are in March and the Pies are sitting in 21st position, a mere four points from the relegation zone with 12 games remaining. That would be scary enough...but its the releagation zone in League Two we are talking about. Hopefully, some help is come : Notts County have signed experienced Derby defender Michael Johnson on loan until the end of the season. Johnson's move represents a return to the club where he started his career. The 34-year-old made 135 appearances for the Magpies between 1991 and 1995 after coming through the ranks at Meadow Lane. After the debacle against Bradford towards the end of February, it was clear that Notts needed some help to stay afloat. Hopefully, Johnson, along with the other newcomers Crow and Jarvis, can contribute to the club's survival. At least I hope so. I'm not sure I can handle Conference Football.

For all of the Ball Four fans out there. Here are a couple of more installments from the Baseball Cliché Translation Project: GM: "He'll bring a lot of excitement to the team." TRANSLATION: Expect him to set the team record for getting picked off first. MANAGER: "He really has a great feel for the game." TRANSLATION: Greatness may have eluded him on the field, but before he's done in this game, he'll be the gold standard for bench coaches.

Pujols Pounds Pitch Past Preening Pierre in Purina Park From today's Beckhamania gossip in The Guardian: Capello will send his general manager, Franco Baldini, to assess the 32-year-old in a friendly against FC Dallas at Pizza Hut Park in Texas on March 15. Pizza Hut Park. I can't read that in a sentence without cracking up. It reminds me of the days when the new Cardinal ballpark naming rights were being hashed out. To torment my father, a 26-year Cardinal season ticket holder who saw his first games at Sportsmans Park, my brother put on a straight face and told him that a decision had been made to name the new stadium Purina Park. My poor dad just dropped his head and began muttering to himself before my brother let him off the hook. But the dream isn't dead. Maybe in a couple of years we'll be able to see Becks play against Real Collinsville at a shiny new Puppy Chow Park.

Steve Goff (as usual) has the news : For those of you tired of watching the U.S. national team play Mexico, Sweden and Poland, you are in for a treat this summer. (No, I'm not talking about the showdown with Barbados or Dominica in June, although I know you are fired up for the start of World Cup qualifier.) We know the Americans will play at Spain. And we learned this week that plans are close to being finalized for friendlies against England at Wembley (May 28) and Argentina at Giants Stadium (June 8). Not bad, eh? Now that is acceptable. Oddly, the friendlies might generate more heat than the World Cup quals will, at least from the US side of things. It's gotta be hard to get up for a thrashing of Barbados, who will probably put 11 players behind the ball, along with a sofa, a refrigerator and a couple of cows. But playing England in Wembley?? Even a 2 or 3 to nil setback promises to be a hell of a lot more interesting. Argentina always makes for a tense match. I was in RFK ...

Can't get this to work...hmmmm.