Skip to main content

BCTP Bonanza

By Anonymous
I'll see your silly little cliché and raise you three.

Talk about being thrown a hanging curve. I don't think I've received as rich a gift as this since my neighbor got engaged and had to give away his porn collection. Generations from now anthropologists will point to this as the textbook example of Spring Training gibberish:
So La Russa isn’t sweating Izturis’ poor offensive and defensive start this spring.

“You just watch, he’s a real good looking fielder,” La Russa said. “He has great, quiet hands. He has an accurate arm. He’s very quick. Picks a ball up like it’s nothing. Very impressive.

“I liked him from the first time I saw him with the Dodgers. He is really fun to watch catch the ball.

“Offensively, he hasn’t had a big hitting spurt or anything like that, but he’s putting the ball in play. He’s working. He’s also shown, by the way, good legs. That’s an important part of the game.

“He’s a very useful offensive player. He can do anything. He can put the ball in play, bunt.”

WOW. File this one under Faint Praise, Damning with. I wish I had time to fully unpack this 123 word gem. Wait, I can. Izturis' offensive impact will be sacrifice bunts and pinch running.

Hmmmm, digging a little deeper I see something else, "real good looking...good legs...he can do anything." I think we can all agree on what this means. Cesar Izturis: Male prostitute.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Matt Damon: "James Bond Should Be A Wuss, Like Me."

By
Alright, maybe Damon didn't say that exactly, but he might as well have : Hollywood star Matt Damon has dismissed James Bond as being stuck in the past. The actor, who appears in the Bourne thrillers, said: "The Bond character will always be anchored in the 1960s and in the values of the 1960s." The suave spy was "so anachronistic when you put it in the world we live in today", he said, but added that Bourne was no better or worse than Bond. Damon was speaking in London, where The Bourne Ultimatum, the third film in the franchise, is having its UK premiere. "Bond is an imperialist and a misogynist who kills people and laughs about it, and drinks Martinis and cracks jokes," he told reporters. "Bourne is a serial monogamist whose girlfriend is dead and he does nothing but think about her." Bourne mooning over his dead girlfriend is something we should be excited to see? Give me a break. At least Bond lives in a world where it is killed or be ki...
5 comments
Read more

A Note of Optimism About the Note

By
 If you have been trying to watch the St. Louis Blues attempt to play hockey of late it would be hard to believe the word optimism could ever be in play. The losses continue relentlessly, often in the "never in the game" style, but increasingly in a "lose from winning position" flair which is enough to make someone turn on the news for an upbeat change of pace. (Wow, plane crashes and LUNACY!) This team still can't score with the regularity needed to win consistently in this league. The coaching staff knows they have precious few natural goal scorers (one is precious few), so they attempt to make up for it by getting what I call "process" goals, i.e. goals scored by virtue of constant pressure, crazy bounces, accidental deflections, etc. Basically, any goal you can get from a player who doesn't have the knack for scoring them on their own. The Blues are something like zero for their last 12-15 breakaway chances, and zero for their last 25-30 2 on 1...
Post a Comment
Read more

MLS Descent To Garbage League Continues

By
Good fucking God almighty. I worried going into this season that referees might "magically" give a boat load of breaks to the Galaxy so that when Beckham returns he would be "playing for something." Look at this " penalty " and tell me what you think. DC was robbed pure and simple. So, was this a case of mind-blowing incompetence or a mandate from the league office? Time will tell. (Really that is the worst penalty call I've ever seen.)
5 comments
Read more