(Get) A Sporting Life

He's outraged that Tony La Russa won't admit to a hectoring reporter he sent Motte out to drill Ryan Braun last night after Pujols nearly got drilled in the head by yet another foot inside pitch by a Brewers pitcher. Of course, La Russa isn't going to admit that. He'd be fined and/or suspended. Duh. The original reporter was a dumb fuck for pushing so hard in attempting to goad La Russa into getting himself in trouble with the league, and Bayliss is just as stupid for expecting La Russa to immolate himself. I also loved when the original hectoring reporter starting whining how La Russa "sent out your hardest thrower!" to hit Braun. I wish La Russa had stopped and asked him of he needed his blanky or his mommy if he was going to cry so.

Because the Cardinals refuse to do anything to improve the pitching on the major league ballclub the pitchers we do have are being used, well, incorrectly. Take Chris Carpenter. I love Carp. He has pitched his heart out for this team, but there is no denying it any longer: At this point in his career he is no longer a top of the rotation guy. He is a solid number three, but La Russa treats him like he is a number one. As a result he is left in the game routinely longer than he ought to left. The results are sadly predictable as he pitches well for five innings or so then goes out into a sixth or seventh inning and gets bombed. Of course it doesn't help that the Cards refuse to get an established arm for the bullpen either. You can understand why La Russa might hope to sneak another inning or two out of Carp given the unsteady work by the guys we've got. How many leads do we have to lose before we try a different approach?

"Another seeing-eye single! I'll hit .400 yet." Tony La Russa on the earth-shattering Josh Phelps signing: "He's going to be given the chance to make the roster because he's a guy when he comes to the plate gets your attention." Translation: A 38-year-old Pete Incaviglia in a grass skirt and pumps also got my attention at the plate. Unfortunately for him he lacked the photo of me being teabagged by a Great Dane that could have earned him a roster spot. h/t to the Goat. And here is a bonus and apropos BCTP. Believe it or not, it was the next one up on the list for posting: Manager: "He hasn't done anything to hurt his chances at a starting job." Translation: He hasn't done anything to help his chances at a starting job.

Or is he just gonna continue to be the world's biggest pussy? Let's face it, it is an open question if he will ever get over his shoulder problems. His bat looked slow all last season, and he was even a little erratic in the field trying to compensate for something. As is he seems to be an average number seven hitter, someone who can get a hold of the occasional mistake made by a pitcher, and not in any way, shape or form "protection" for Pujols. Given that, what more can Rolen expect from this organization? They have got a shit load of money invested in this player who will never, dollar for dollar, deliver the production one would expect. So La Russa sits him after he looks like utter crap at the plate, so what? Lots of players who look like utter crap at the plate find themselves left off of the lineup card. Scott Rolen gets all the respect he should need every time he cashes a paycheck. So, shut up and play ball...if you still can.

Over the weekend "BillPickle" sent me the following item related to the Cardinals: Maybe the Cardinals need a Bull Durham moment. Of course since Tony and half the team speak Spanish, he and Jose Oquendo's exchange would be something like this*: Tony: Usted tipos. Usted lollygag la pelota alrededor del terreno central. Usted lollygag su manera hacia abajo a primero. Usted lollygag en y fuera de la trinchera. ¿Usted sabe lo que que hace usted? ¡Jose! Jose: ¡Lollygaggers! Tony: Lollygaggers! Tony: Jose, lo que es nuestro registro? Jose: 16 y 23 Tony: 16 y 23, ¿Cómo ganaríamos nosotros 16? Jose: Es un milagro Tony: Es un milagro *Apologies for the translation. I just ran the text through an online translation service. SOUTHLANDISH: At this point I fear that if La Russa threw the bats at the team in the shower, most of them would wonder what these strange wooden objects were.