You Can Be The Joe Schultz Of English Soccer

"Boys, penalty kicks are like jacking off. Once you learn how you never forget."

Talk about the ultimate fantasy sports franchise. From The Guardian's daily soccer e-mail blast, The Fiver, on May 10:

A website named MyFootballClub is asking 50,000 people to pay GBP35 in a bid to raise GBP1.75m to buy an existing club, with each member an equal partner who will get to vote on team selection and what players to sell. "I've created a vehicle that will pool fans' opinions, passion and wealth and turn fantasy football into reality," declared its Fulham-supporting creator Will Brooks, adjusting his incredibly thick spectacles. Nasty Leeds currently top the poll of prospective purchases, followed by Cambridge United and Accrington Stanley.

The BBC has more here.