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Scooter Lite

By Anonymous
I died so the Aaron Miles' of the world might plague baseball as heroes.*

I saved this quote the other day and knew it had a place in the Baseball Cliché Translation Project, I just couldn't figure out where:
Aaron Miles, an infrequent starter but valued by La Russa for his energy in day games...
Just when I was going to give up and throw it to the general public (our three weekly readers) for suggestions, it hit me. Phil Fucking Rizzuto's actual HoF Plaque:
Phil Rizzuto overcame his diminutive size to anchor a Yankees dynasty... The Scooter was a durable and deft shortstop, skilled bunter and enthusiastic base runner who compiled a .273 lifetime batting average....Upon retirement, he spent 40 years as a popular Yankees broadcaster.
For those keeping score at home "enthusiastic baserunner" had Rabbit Maranville turning over in his grave.....with joy. When Scooter's plaque was unveiled, Rabbit got the monkey off of his back as the HoF member most damned with the faintest of praise.
PLAYED MORE GAMES, 2153, AT SHORTSTOP THAN ANY OTHER NATIONAL LEAGUE PLAYER. AT BAT TOTAL, 10078, SURPASSED BY ONLY ONE NATIONAL LEAGUER, HONUS WAGNER. MADE 2605 HITS IN 23 SEASONS. MEMBER OF 1914 BOSTON BRAVES "MIRACLE TEAM" THAT WON PENNANT, THEN WORLD SERIES FROM ATHLETICS IN 4 GAMES.
Of course, Rabbit harbored twin shames. He neither inspired alliteration on his HoF plaque - "durable and deft" - nor parlayed his mediocrity into a four decade career announcing. Aaron Miles, on the other hand, still has the chance to be the Moon Man of his generation....
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