Skip to main content

A Massive Explosion Rocked Kansas City Yesterday



Last night, all across rural Missouri and Iowa worried families looked at the bright flames rising from the distant horizon. Panicky children with fear in their young eyes turned to their fathers and asked, "Have the terrorists bombed Kansas City?"

"No, children," came the sadden response, "That is what a Kip Wells start looks like."

"Oh daddy!" cried the children, tears streaming down their faces, "Make it go away! Please!"

In response the Post Dispatch offered the following:

Memo to Tony La Russa and Dave Duncan:

Please stop the fight.

Call it a TKO.

Do the merciful thing.

You guys can’t keep running Kip Wells out there to take a beating every five days. If you do, you’ll be hearing from Amnesty International. After games these days, poor Wells, a nice man, looks as confused as the million of Americans who watched the final scene of The Sopranos.

Wells lasted 1.1 innings in Thursday’s 17-8 pasting by the Royals, and he dropped to 2-11 on the season.

Look, I know your hearts are in the right place; you want to give Kip time to turn things around. A few weeks back, in his first start since the birth of his first child, Kip pitched well, and I wrote a hopeful column about how this could be the turning point, blah, blah, blah. It wasn’t. And I know you don’t have a list of appealing, ready-made options to plug into the rotation, so you’ve been giving Kip even more rope to … oh, never mind.

Anthony Reyes is about the best bet, for reasons we discussed in our previous blog.

Whatever you decide, from now on, it’s gotta be anybody but the Kipper. And don’t be hardheaded about it. It’s OK to admit to defeat in this particular reclamation project.

GASL agrees. Enough already.

Comments

Southlandish said…
No shit. Yesterday afternoon I arrived back in Newark and picked up a copy of the USA Today, looking forward to reading a boxscore, only to see this mess. Then I got home at 10:00 ET, looking forward to seeing some baseball, only to witness more carnage. Made it to the 4th inning and gave up. 31 runs in two games. Sheesh.
Rich Horton said…
Just imagine where we'd be if Spezio doesn't throw a scoreless 8th.

Welcome back to the land of the free and the home of the team era over 5.00.

Popular posts from this blog

Salt Lake Follies

More on the saga of Real Salt Lake : On the third day, it was risen. A bill emerged Thursday on Utah's Capitol Hill that could bring a Real Salt Lake stadium to Sandy and salvage Utah's two-year-old soccer franchise, which is being aggressively courted by investors in St. Louis. If the measure passes - it was crafted behind closed doors this week with the blessing of Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr., Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson and legislative leadership - it would snatch at least $20 million for the project out of Salt Lake County coffers, which critics allege could result in a countywide property-tax hike. The move to revive a stadium in Sandy spells the end of talk to relocate RSL to the Utah State Fairpark in Salt Lake City or the former Geneva Steel site in central Utah County. Late Thursday, RSL released a statement saying the Geneva location, owned by Anderson Development, is "not a viable option for our team or the stadium project." "We are no longer ent...

Ticking Off My Friend From Salt Lake

Real Salt Lake seems to be holding on by the skin of it's teeth. Now you've got prominent folks out in Salt Lake bitch slapping Checketts in the press . I'm sure that is a BIG help. Then when you read things like the following : "I expect it to come together quickly or not at all," Valentine said, suggesting a deal could come within a week. All or nothing??? In a week? Sounds ominous. Or, Meanwhile, MLS sources say Checketts has received clearance from the league to explore relocating his two-year-old franchise and possibly selling it to "serious" investors in St. Louis. Salt Lake City's mayor referred to such a possible sale as reason to cancel Wednesday's council meeting. "Mr. Checketts may have sold the team by this afternoon," Anderson said. The mayor also didn't want to discuss soccer in public, saying the news media could "screw things up for us." That's right. It would be the media's fault. So Re...

Early Thoughts on City 2025

There are few things harder to keep track of than an MLS side in their off-season, at least for me. Despite the fact it takes place roughly during the time the MLB Hot Stove season is in full swing, it is nowhere near as easy to follow along with as baseball. Part of it is how disconnected MLS is with the international soccer calendar. St. Louis City SC is still digesting the moves it made last summer even though those players have already played important games for the club. It is all weird and disjointed, and I always feel like I am playing catch-up. Happily, the moves made in the off-season this year were not numerous.  German Timo Baumgartl comes over from Europe as an option at center back, which is good because that was a position that was a little rocky for City last season. Given his own troubles over the last few seasons (cancer and uneven play in the aftermath of that), a spell with City can give Baumgartl a chance to have a re-set. Given his pedigree and the fact City si...