Saturday, November 24, 2007

Is That LSU? No, It's Just The Latest Turd Down the Toilet.

"The odds don't lie. A fetching young Farrah Fawcett is going to be visiting my bed tonight.

As a man who is officially dumber than Mel Kiper Jr. once said in an obscure blog comment:
But I feel it in my bones that someone is going to be left out and the whole notion of a title game will be a farce, yet someone will have walked away having 'earned' the national championship on the field.
At least for the next 20 hours or so Kansas is in the drivers seat, with Mizzou in a disturbingly advantageous position. Those words sound as strange to me as the ones from The Great American Novel, "Farrah peeled away the bright red swimsuit, thrust her taut nipples into the face of her 12 year old steed and....quivering....lowered her hips onto his waiting, uh, make that his not-too-distant semblance of manhood...."

Sure, it's late on a holiday weekend night and I've plenty on board but if two congnacs and a bottle of chianti have me believing in fairy dust, Jesus, or The Skunk Ape then I can't be blamed for my disorientation knowing that Mizzou is playing a game in late November that could keep them in the National Championship hunt and the Illini are bizarrely in a potential position for a BCS Bowl Game. Hey, even a horny 12 year old in 1978 would have bet that he'd fuck Farrah before Mizzou and the Illini would both be in this position. Oh, and the 12 year old's fantasy position for Farrah would have been doggy with a loooooooong reach around to tune the radio dial on those spiky nips (yeah, that's for you Walt). That should get GASL back into the X rating area....

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