The Magic Of Memorial Stadium

"I told you this place would go to hell without the Chief around."

In today's Post-Dispatch, Stu Durando writes:

If getting to six victories and qualifying for a bowl game is the goal, the Missouri game could be critical. If the goal is to achieve more modest improvement, the pressure isn't as great.

Either way, the Illini will have to change the program's road woes of the last five years to have a shot.

Illinois has won only three of its last 26 games away from Memorial Stadium, and that includes two losses to Missouri in St. Louis.

A cynic might add the Illini need to change the program's home woes of the last five years too. A quick back-of-the-cocktail-napkin calculation indicates that the Illini are indeed dramatically better at home. They have 2.3 times as many wins in their last 26 home games. That's seven wins going back to late 2002 when our current star freshman WR, Arrelious Benn, had just turned 14. Exactly one of those wins was against a Big Ten opponent - powerhouse Indiana. The other six were to Eastern Illinois, San Jose State, Rutgers, W. Michigan, FL A&M and Illinois State. Looks like the key is to schedule more home games against schools from towns named Bloomington (yes, yes, I know ISU is technically in Normal).

As for Memorial Stadium, the renovation work is apparently coming along nicely. But like everything else related to Illini football, I've lowered my expectations. I'll call it a success if the overhaul doesn't result in the removal of the single most important feature in the stadium - long, trough-style urinals that more efficiently move we beer-soaked, tailgating masses through the men's room. Individual urinals are the scourge of modern stadia. But that is a rant for another day. Speaking of lowered expectations.

MIZZOU 35 ILLINI 13

GOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In case you didn't catch this great goal, here is a minute and a half love fest to the work of St. Louisian Chris Klein.

I'll Have Some of What They're Smokin

"Wha? Oh, Mel Kiper here dudes. The Illini will win seven. No, eight. No, seven. Hey, man, no fair. Stop bogarting the Doritos."

The Goat checked in with an assessment of the 2007 Illini:

I think the people who are picking Illinois to win 7 games are completely
stoned. Not that our non-conference schedule is anything tough but for the
first time I can remember, we play Michigan, Ohio St., Penn St, Wisconsin
and Iowa in the same season. The two conference teams not on our schedule
this season are Michigan St. and Purdue.

We've had two fantastic recruiting classes but that also means we're young
in a couple of areas so I think it's much more fair to expect 7 wins out of
the team next season. We do return 9 starters from a defense that was much
improved last season and watch out for incoming Freshmen (Martez Wilson -
linebacker and D'Angelo McCray - defensive line).

Our offense should be better. Keys are obviously Juice Williams and Rashard
Mendenhall. Mendenhall averaged 8 yards a carry last season in limited duty
and has put on 20 lbs of muscle. He has the potential to be a stud but has
to hold on to the ball. Finally have some speed at receiver position but
we're heavily relying on a true freshman (Arrelious Benn) to be the savior
and beyond him, we're not that deep. I don't know that much about the
offensive line but have read that Akim Millington is healthy this year. He
was very hyped coming into last season as a transfer from Oklahoma but
wasn't healthy. If he plays up to all they hype from last year, could be a
force on the offensive line.

Bottom line is that I still think this team is too young offensively for
anyone to be making realistic predictions. And who knows if we're going to
improve in the turnover and special teams departments (which absolutely
killed us last season). 5 wins would have to be considered a very
successful season. But I think only 3 wins would be a huge failure.
Although we only won two games last season there was drastic improvement
considering that we didn't get blown out by teams like Wisconsin, Ohio St.
and Penn St. but we also couldn't get it done against Syracuse, Indiana,
Northwestern and Ohio University. We simply must win those type of games
this season.

The only time I've ever predicted anything for an Illini football team was
during Kurt Kittner's sophomore season right after we blew out Ohio St. I
predicted (of course out of complete cynicism) that when he was a senior
we'd probably win the conference, considering the national championship game
would be the Rose Bowl that year, and that would just be our luck to finally
win the conference only to be denied the Rose Bowl (and unfortunately that's
exactly what happened).

So let's just be patient and hope that by the time Juice Williams is a
Junior or Senior that all of the pieces of this puzzle will have fallen into
place.

Update: I just checked the BCS national championship schedule and see that
the January, 2010 Rose Bowl is set to be the National Championship game. So
I am now officially predicting that the Illini will win the Big Ten in 2009
(which will be Juice Williams' senior season) and again be denied a trip to
the Rose Bowl.

Sounds about right to me. If I get some time later in the week I'll make my game predictions.

IM: Prognosticator

Here is my take on the upcoming Mizzou football season: I don't see any huge breakthrough.

Same ol', same ol'.

09/01/07 vs. Illinois St. Louis, Mo.

Mizzou 31 Illinois 20

09/08/07 at Ole Miss Oxford, Miss. 5:00 p.m. CT

Mizzou 38 Ole Miss 24

09/15/07 vs. Western Michigan Columbia, Mo. 1:00 p.m. CT

Mizzou 44 Western Michigan 21

09/22/07 vs. Illinois State Columbia, Mo. 1:00 p.m. CT

Mizzou 27 Illinois State 0

10/06/07 vs. Nebraska * Columbia, Mo. TBA

Mizzou 13 Nebraska 14

10/13/07 at Oklahoma * Norman, Okla. TBA

Mizzou 10 Oklahoma 27

10/20/07 vs. Texas Tech * Columbia, Mo. TBA

Mizzou 28 Texas Tech 24

10/27/07 vs. Iowa State * Columbia, Mo. TBA

Mizzou 18 Iowa State 20

11/03/07 at Colorado * Boulder, Colo. TBA

Mizzou 7 Colorado 23

11/10/07 vs. Texas A&M Columbia, Mo. TBA

Mizzou 12 Texas A&M 30

11/17/07 at Kansas State * Manhattan, Kan. TBA

Mizzou 21 Kansas State 20

11/24/07 vs. Kansas * Kansas City, Mo.

Mizzou 41 Kansas 17

That comes to 7-5 I'm afraid. I'm predicting a mid-season swoon, which we are generally good for every year. One horrible loss (to Iowa State in Columbia), which we are also good for every year. And one thrashing of the Jayhawks (which should happen more often.)

Could DC United Use Anybody?

Evidently, with the signing of Denilson FC Dallas is in the position where they will soon have to drop one of their four Senior International players. It seems likely that Adrian Serioux will be the player jettisoned as he has only made it into three games this year, and Dallas' other SI's (Ricchetti, Ruiz, and Saragosa) play much larger roles on the team.

Serioux is a Canadian defender who had some experience playing for Millwall in England. If we can play one of the back positions, DC might think about it. Right now DC only has used three SI slots (Fred, Emilio and Gomez), so if they are not going to bring in a big name soon...why not?

Of course DC may not be the only team with an open SI slot right now. I believe the LA Galaxy have an open slot and they need all the defensive help they can get.

Ready To Cover Themselves In Glory

While hope springs eternal in St. Louis over the Cardinals, another match-up of great import to GASL occurs there Saturday - Mizzou v. Illinois. In this near mythical clash of titans, IM and I are at odds. Being sensible, he will be rooting for the team with a chance to win. Being an Illini fan, I will soon be placed on suicide watch.

It’s again being played at the Shithole Dome, home of the second worst sporting event I’ve ever attended – The Illini-Mizzou game of 2003. The only more depraved venue of my experience is that domed armpit on the shores of Tampa Bay. I still have nightmares of the spectacle I witnessed there.

The early line gives the Illini five points. Very ungenerous I’d say. They’ll need more help than that. Nonetheless, I’m allowing myself to enjoy a ray of optimism for the upcoming season, as I always do before it is brutally crushed shortly after the opening kickoff. In Saturday’s game I am going to go out on a limb and predict that at halftime I will still retain the thinnest reed of hope that a couple of comical, self-inflicted Mizzou turnovers and a defensive touchdown by the Illini could save them from complete embarrassment (i.e. a loss of more than two touchdowns).

As for the rest of the season, every year I lower my expectations for the Illini and every year I am disappointed. I’ve read that several publications/prognosticators are predicting as many as 7 wins and the chance for a bowl bid. I won’t dignify these raving lunatics with a link. Personally, I am going to declare the season a success if the Illini win three games, one of which is in the conference, and if no player is convicted of sexual battery*. Success, I suspect, will hinge on a glacial turn of the wheels of justice.

* this only applies to any new charges for this season. Those already on the docket are grandfathered in.

Is That .500 I See Just Above?

Either that or a cliff’s edge called September.

It’s hard to get too excited about the Cardinals, even while it is fun to watch a title battle involving the Cubs. The Sisyphean task of getting back within striking distance of .500 has been gutting. The club is Swiss cheese everywhere but in the bullpen. There are holes in the lineup. Holes in the defense and holes in the starting staff.

It could be written that the past two seasons have been the fun ones to watch with all the warts on full display and weekly setbacks that appeared to doom the season. Some silly wag will undoubtedly write it. But not me. I loved the 2004 and 2005 campaigns. Watching brilliantly executed baseball day in and day out was a joy. Decimating all of the sub-.500 clubs who dare set foot in Busch Stadium. Quaint concerns about Larry Walker's back. Having Ned Yost tell his young Brewer club to watch the Cardinals closely and learn from how they went about their business.

Last year’s championship and this year’s efforts have been like watching sausage being made. And not the good kind that only contains 25 percent pigs' assholes and rat shit.

Still, I’m nothing if not a realist. If this team stalks the Cubs and drags them down for the kill, pulls off a post-season berth and even makes a deep run into October, I’m sure we’ll someday see a crotchety old Southlandish beginning an August 27, 2039 GASL post, “This gutless Cardinal team needs to look to the gritty, determined Redbird teams of 2006-7 who never gave up...”

Missed This One

I wasn't paying any attention to the Blues as things are generally quiet the couple of weeks before training camp opens. But the Blues continued their strong off-season with a nice free agent signing.

Blues president John Davidson and general manager Larry Pleau put another puzzle piece into place this week, signing free agent winger Chris Porter to add size and depth to their front lines.

At 6-foot-2 and 205 pounds, Porter has power forward potential. He is tough and he is an ironman, having never missed a game in college.

Earlier this year, he offered this take on that feat: “In bantams when I was 13 or 14, I broke my arm, and that was the last time I’ve actually missed a game. There have been times throughout my college career when I’ve been bumped up pretty good, but our training staff has done a great job of getting me ready to go. I’ve had the privilege of coming in as a freshman and getting to play every game. I’ve had coaches who have trusted in me and put me out there. I’ve been lucky not to have a serious injury in the middle of the season.”

Hmmm . . . this sounds like a young man Brian Sutter would love. And that is a good thing.

Porter fills an organization void in a couple of ways, adding size to a depth chart that features smaller forwards like Yan Stastny and Martin Kariya. Porter also gives the team another front-burner prospect to bring to camp.

Here are Porter's stats from his time at North Dakota:

Year----Team-------- Lea- GP-- G--- A----Pts +/- PIM---S- S%- PPG
2006-07 North Dakota WCHA 43 13 17 30 - 38 - - 0.70

2005-06 North Dakota WCHA 46 7 16 23 - 40 - - 0.50

2004-05 North Dakota WCHA 45 12 3 15 - 36 - - 0.33

2003-04 North Dakota WCHA 41 10 15 25 - 46 - - 0.61

Darlington 2 - 2 Notts County

It's early yet, but Notts coming back twice to tie Darlington maybe shows promise.

That is an awful big maybe.

A last-gasp goal from Richard Butcher saw Darlington drop their first points of the season as Notts County twice came from behind to snatch a draw.

The hosts had two early goals disallowed but Tommy Wright did give them the lead on 40 minutes.

Butcher levelled from close range on 72 minutes before Ian Miller gave the hosts the lead again with a header.

But Butcher seized on some poor defending at the death and slotted past David Stockdale in the Darlington goal.

Hmm...maybe promotion is not in the offing.

We've Gone All Quiet Again...

...must be the Cardinals are getting the shit kicked out of them again.

It is so bad I atually thought "Good thing Wellmeyer is back." And I haven't even been drinking!

Mulder Update

Several line outs in a 5-4 GO to FO ratio so the jury is always out on those, but it looks like he may have had a decent outing. The wind was blowing out to left at 14 mph so nothing over the boards has to be seen as potentially good news.

Player IP H R ER BB SO HR ERA
Mulder 4.0 2 1 0 0 3 0 1.69

The Hand Of God Makes An Excellent Coke Shovel

WOW. We all knew Mardona wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but what an idiotic suck-up. From today’s Guardian:

In Maradona's chatshow in Buenos Aires last year, he admitted that the goal had been a piece of "mischief", but yesterday's admission was delivered with more glee and tinged with political rhetoric…the 46-year-old was a surprise guest of "Hello President", a Sunday talkshow hosted by Mr Chávez which lasts much of the day... Maradona earned thunderous applause when he said he loathed everything that came from the US. "I hate it with all my strength." He pledged allegiance to his host and to Cuba's Fidel Castro, who has arranged treatment in Havana for his addictions.
"I believe in Chávez, I am Chávista. Everything Fidel does, everything Chávez does, for me is the best."

Where to start with a vein this rich? First, I’ve never felt so much sympathy with the Venezuelans. Your Sunday radio is dominated by a day long chat show hosted by Chavez?!? Where the hell is Human Rights Watch when you need them? Second, I’d say the English need to move on but the name Don Denkinger still haunts my dreams. And finally, we have yet another Bush foreign policy failure. How does he of all people NOT secure the support of an iconic, Spanish-speaking, cokehead cheat? Talk about your slam dunks.

UPDATE:

IM here.

In "great minds think alike" territory, I had similar thoughts on another blog: Drug Addled Has-Been Hates U.S.

I Should Be Watching The Cards Game...

...but after watching Pujols get called out on a pitch a foot inside (and I'm being charitable) I decided my blood pressure could be lowered by doing something else, like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute or doing meth.

My God, like Zambrano needs the help.

Stop The Stupidity With The Lineup

No, I am not talking about batting the pitcher in the eight spot. There is no way to argue that we haven't been winning while we've been doing that.

What I want to see an end to is the all right-hand hitting lineups La Russa throws out against left handed pitching. Our right handed hitting does not take enough advantage of LHP to make it worthwhile.

Look at the numbers so far this season:

RHB v. RHP

AB: 1706
Hits: 471
HR: 48
Slg: .413

RHB v. LHP

AB: 1002
Hits: 281
HR: 19
Slg: .395

These number are pretty dreadful. While batting average goes up slightly (.276 v. .280), the power numbers drop right into the toilet. While a full 10% of the hits off of RHP go for home runs, RHB only manage to hit homers at a 6.7% clip against lefties. This is only marginally better the our LHB does against LHP (2 HR's out of 40 hits, or 5%.) Sure Duncan is only hitting .225 against LHP, but he has only had 71 AB's against them, and it is still better than Ludwick or Rolen's average against southpaws. And when you consider what a big power role Duncan plays on this team it makes even less sense to keep him on the bench.

The thing is had Duncan faced more LHP earlier in the season (and last season for that matter) he might be better prepared to face it now. You can make the same argument for Ankiel as well. As of right now only Albert Pujols has a batting average above .225 with more than one home run against LHP. So where is the benefit from sitting Duncan and Ankiel?

Please Let This Happen To Me

From yesterday's issue of The Fiver from The Guardian:

"I wasn't surprised when I saw Sven was saying no one had rung him. They ring me. I'm hoping David Beckham texts me soon" - A-level student Christina Tambaros, who was reassigned Sven-Goran Eriksson's phone number when he was ditched as England manager, on getting congratulatory messages from Les Reed and Gordon Taylor, and an offer to take an Inter midfielder on a free transfer. She's mulling it over.

How much fun would that be. If I ever get Walt Jocketty's old number, the hardest thing would be deciding who to fuck with first. Just to stir the pot, I think I'd initiate a text conversation with someone at the Tribune and in the course of it let slip that Jim Hendry had turned down talks in the off-season about a Pujols for Prior trade and then quickly backtrack and plead that it not be made public....

You're Only Going To End Up Miserable, You Fool

Those were the sweet, loving (and wise) words of the lovely Mrs. Southlandish last night. We were floating the pool, enjoying a happy hour cocktail. I had just finished waxing poetic about the Cards sweep of the Brewers, the fact we were only one out in the loss column and how I now had a meaningful Cards/Cubs series to watch this weekend. I had assumed, as usual, she was only pretending to listen when she decided to break out the buzz kill. Is it any wonder I love her?

Alas, echoing IM's prior post, I am still going to make myself miserable and follow every goddamned inning. Moths to the flame, you know....

It's Mid-August & The Cards Are 2 Back In The Loss Column

...and it is still 2007. This is something I didn't expect. It sort of reminds me of 1996 when the Cards somehow cobbled together a team that got to within a game of the World Series even though we all knew they were not very good. Of course, this mostly says what a terrible division the NL Central is this year, but you have got to play the schedule they give you and we have as much right as anyone to stumble into the playoffs.

Last night's game was a throwback, with Home Runs from Pujols, Rolen AND Edmonds. That we are getting quality starts from a rotation featuring Wells, Piniero, and Reyes is nothing short of a miracle.

I've been fighting getting interested in this team. They were simply dreadful for such long stretches. But I think they can now put a lineup out there that can score some runs, and I think they will get good enough starting pitching to keep them in games. The bullpen has been a plus all season....and we are only 3 1/2 games out of first.

Crap.

I'm interested.

Matt Damon: "James Bond Should Be A Wuss, Like Me."

Alright, maybe Damon didn't say that exactly, but he might as well have:

Hollywood star Matt Damon has dismissed James Bond as being stuck in the past.

The actor, who appears in the Bourne thrillers, said: "The Bond character will always be anchored in the 1960s and in the values of the 1960s."

The suave spy was "so anachronistic when you put it in the world we live in today", he said, but added that Bourne was no better or worse than Bond.

Damon was speaking in London, where The Bourne Ultimatum, the third film in the franchise, is having its UK premiere.

"Bond is an imperialist and a misogynist who kills people and laughs about it, and drinks Martinis and cracks jokes," he told reporters.

"Bourne is a serial monogamist whose girlfriend is dead and he does nothing but think about her."

Bourne mooning over his dead girlfriend is something we should be excited to see? Give me a break. At least Bond lives in a world where it is killed or be killed. I'm supposed to think Bond is anachronistic because he'd rather see the other guy dead? Please.

[Bourne director Paul] Greengrass said: "The Bourne franchise is not about wearing Prada suits and looking at women coming out of the sea with bikinis on. It's about essence and truth, not frippery and surface."

So, I'm supposed to enjoy the sexless wonder of this:



Instead of enjoying the strength, beauty and sensuality of these women:





Once again, please.

I'm sorry, but when I go see a super spy on the big screen I want James Bond, not Dr. Phil.

Trying To Get A Sporting Life...Again

Been a crazy few weeks of moving, sporadic internet access, house guests and a small housing disaster. Hopefully, it will soon be time to get back to watching a little sport and blogging. Of course, the moment I turn on a Cards game, they collapse. So that is no fun.

Fortunately, I just added FOX Soccer and GOLTV so there will be plenty of good soccer to watch and I can always count on September's arrival to bring a whole raft of Illini football laments while I hold my breath in anticipation of the chance to root for Real Collinsville...

Juan Gone?

I know it is nothing to get too excited about, after all it is only Juan Encarnacion, but the Tony & Juan show seems to be drawing to a close.

Tony La Russa is right to be upset with Juan Encarnacion’s episodes of non-hustle, and I applaud the manager for doing something about it. This isn’t about Juan E’s style; I’ve defended him in the past, because he gives the impression that he’s coasting in the outfield, when in fact (last season) he had the best zone rating of any full-time right fielder in MLB. In other words, I don’t care how he looks, as long as he’s getting to the balls he’s supposed to catch. But this year Juan’s zone rating has declined. It isn’t bad; he’d rank about 7th in the NL in zone rating by RF. But his concentration isn’t what it should be. He’s had some glaring instances of lax hustle, in the field and on the bases. This is a team fighting to stay alive, and Encarnacion just doesn’t seem locked in.

...

As for trading Encarnacion… I don’t know how all of this is going to go down. The team is off Monday; La Russa is visiting his family in Oakland before rejoining the team in Milwaukee on Tuesday. La Russa does not take kindly to players ripping him in the paper. Maybe La Russa tells Walt Jocketty: enough, get rid of the guy. Or maybe Tony uses this little blow-up as a reason to really clear the air, and motivate Encarnacion. The Cardinals must proceed with caution. They have LH outfield bats in Ankiel, Jim Edmonds and Chris Duncan. But Duncan is really struggling now, Edmonds doesn’t play against all LH pitchers, and if you take Encarnacion out of the mix you have only two RH bats in the OF in So Taguchi and Ryan Ludwick.

Trying to move Encarnacion now would be a player dump pure and simple, and I wonder if you could get anything interesting in return. Still it might be preferable to him sitting on the bench and bitching to the Post-Dispatch. Given the salary owed him next season I don't think there would be much difficulty getting him through waivers, but who in the playoff chase needs an extra alright-not-great bat? Boston likes to have plenty of spare parts, but this year?

As fr being all that worried about the right handed at bats left in the Cards lineup without Juan around, I wouldn't be. Between Pujols, Rolen and Ludwick we should be alright, and it isn't as if we are doing fabulously against lefties anyway. La Russa's all righty lineups against southpaws have been just as feeble as any otehr lineup, so why worry about it? I'd rather have Duncan and Ankiel get all the bats against left-handers that they can. If they are gonna be everyday players, then let them play everyday.

And who knows, if you could move Encarnacion for a useful bullpen arm that could be an actual help this season. (I know that scenario seems unlikely.)

I've always been underwhelmed by Encarnacion for some reason, so his leaving would hardly register for me.

Ankiel! Ankiel! Ankiel!

It is only the 7h inning of Ankiel's third game as a full time major league outfielder and he has three home runs and is batting over .400 and has 6 RBI.

Not that we could have used this back in June. Nah.

Lots Of St. Louis Soccer Stuff

The effort to get an MLS team into St. Louis (or at least Collinsville) is getting into high gear.

You can check out the AP story here. Or you could look at the Post-Dispatch's take here. Or you could look at Jeff Cooper's pitch at the new St. Louis Soccer United website.

From the PD:

Efforts to bring professional outdoor soccer back to St. Louis will enter a decisive phase on Monday when a prominent Metro East lawyer will propose a $100 million stadium complex in Collinsville that he intends to be home to a Major League Soccer franchise.

The Collinsville City Council will hear a presentation from East Alton attorney Jeff Cooper about a 400-acre development project that would include an 18,900-seat stadium, a hotel, at least two restaurants, about 1,000 single-family homes, several youth soccer fields and nearly 500,000 square feet of office and retail space.

While the complex would be a destination point in the Metro East area, it would not come without risk; Collinsville would have to sell about $20 million in bonds to get the project started. The City Council is expected to vote Sept. 10 on the project, which would be located at Interstate 255 and Horseshoe Lake Road.

"When I saw it," said Collinsville Mayor Stan Schaeffer, "I was expecting a stadium — and I got a suburb." Schaeffer and the four Collinsville City Council members make up the five-person panel that would vote on the proposal. He said the city has been working since January last year to make this happen.

The PD has a nice flash presentation of the stadium proposal to look at here.

I wish them luck in their efforts. It is a nice looking stadium.

I wonder if the team (if granted to STL) will elicit the support of Southlandish (an Illinois born & bred Cardinals fan)?

Ankiel

Get Up, Baby! has Rick Ankiel's night in pictures. Pretty cool.

Thrusday Recap

Here is what I know:

1. I heard somebody on ESPN pick the Cardinals to win the Central division this year. This is the greatest slap in the face to the division imaginable.
2. Back when I was screaming for the Cards to try and save this season I thought it made no sense to keep Ankiel in AAA so long. Here is to Rick's trying to prove me right.
3. DC United was vastly superior to L.A. last night.
4. DC is damn lucky they didn't lose last night. The first takedown of Donovan was clearly a penalty, the second was clearly a fantastic play by Perkins. Both would normally have led to Galaxy goals.
5. What is with taking the foot off the accelerator after the red card was handed out? The lack of a killer instinct is troubling.
6. Beckham looked pretty good out there.
7. RFK looks so much better with the top bowl filled.
8. NFL preseason. Yawn.
   

Cards Equal MLB Offensive Record (And Not One For Futility)

I listened to all three of the losses to the Nationals, but I miss this: Cardinals tie major league record for consecutive hits

The St. Louis Cardinals tied a major league record for consecutive hits on Monday, rattling off 10 straight in the bottom of the fifth inning against the San Diego Padres.

The Kansas City Royals set the record when they had 10 consecutive hits in the third inning against the Detroit Tigers on September 9, 2004.

On Monday, St. Louis had six straight singles before Scott Rolen and Ryan Ludwick hit back-to-back home runs. After a walk to Yadier Molina, pitcher Braden Looper reached on a bunt single and Aaron Miles singled to center to tie the record.

I simply can't win for the Cardinals losing.

I'll say it right now, Ryan Ludwick is only 30 points of batting average off of being an everyday in this league.

Can he be a .280 hitter? I don't know, but I think the Cards need to get him 300+ AB's to find out.

When I Was Nine....

...I had a pretty good arm for my age, had a pretty good batting eye for my age, and couldn't hit for crap at that or any other age. As such I wasn't worried about my professional prospects. So, I cannot imagine what it must be like for a soccer playing kid that age to draw interest from Manchester United.

Manchester United has recruited a 9-year-old soccer prodigy based on video footage featuring his skills.

The club brought in Rhain Davis after his grandfather sent a DVD to United youth staff showing the boy playing for an under-10 team in Brisbane, Australia.

"Manchester United is proud of its history of developing talented young players, and invests considerable time and resources into trying to find the best young players of the future," the club said in a statement.

In Davis' case, however, United need only have invested four minutes. That is the length of a YouTube clip featuring Davis's dribbling, stepover and goal-scoring skills -- viewed more than 800,000 times on the site -- that has led fans to describe him as the next Wayne Rooney.

Damn. At that age I would have been content with being considered the next Ken Reitz.

No, Really. We’re In The SECOND Month That Begins With An A

"Fuck you, Ron Santo. And that goes double for you, Ronnie Woo-Woo."

August 2, 2007. Southlandish opened the sports page to see the Cubs in first place by .001. The sprint to toilet seemed endless and Mrs. Southlandish was even less eager than usual for a goodbye kiss.

In other news, it’s time to sharpen the skates as the temperature in hell is reportedly plummeting.