Thursday, February 21, 2008

Foreshadowing

I don't care if you read editors notes or not, you are going to get a little foreshadowing. I got this in my email the other day:

I saw the Blues trounce the Columbus Blue Jackets yesterday. This is the team struggling for a playoff spot? They played with speed, power, intelligence, and an indefinable zest for life. The passing was crisp, with defensemen looking to get the play quickly up ice all night. The power play generated a number of quality chances. There were a few boneheaded plays, such as the shorthanded goal. (Although, I was at the game, and I still have no idea where that Blue Jacket came from. Was he standing by the Blues' blue line the whole PowerPlay? It was like he appeared there via some tear in the space-time continuum. So, given that the Blues defense (I'm guessing) lack a working knowledge of theoretical physics, I'm gonna give 'em a pass on that one. Especially since they were unaffected, and simply continued to dominate as they had for most of the game. There were, however, a couple of very disturbing things:

1. Free Tacos. If one thing is true about St. Louis hockey fans, they love free or/and cheap tacos. Sure enough, shortly after the Blues fourth goal, the chant went up around the arena, "We want tacos." Indeed, the crowd was egged on by the video screen over center ice, and the video ring around the arena, flashing pictures of a symbolic taco, interspersed with the chant itself. After the fifth goal was buried, taco euphoria gripped the crowd. I myself imagined an after-work trip to the Taco Bell, where the sight of 12 cars in the drive-up line would not even be enough to dampen the notion of the 12 tacos I would be scoring for under 3 bucks. My reverie was short-lived, as the PA announcer soon came on to say that fans could bring their ticket stub for today's game TO THE SCOTTRADE CENTER between the hours of 11-2 PM Monday, and exchange the ticket for 1 (one) free taco. Meaning, I could drive downtown (estimated gas, $2.00), pay to park ($2.00 if using the nearest lot, 25 cents if I can score a meter in the middle of the day) to get a free taco (that will have cost me $2.25 at the low end) that I could eat in the car while speeding back to work before my lunch hour ends. Isn't the idea of a "promotion" to promote your product? The only thing this promoted was the idea that the new Blues management is a few tacos short of a combination plate. So, Taco Bell, the main sponsor of past cheap-taco promotions dropped out. Understandable, it was probably costing them a fortune. So, then, drop the promotion! Don't insult your fans' intelligence by pretending the promotion still exists, but in reality arranging the rules so that the only people who could realistically take advantage of it would be the employees at the ScottTrade ticket windows (who, as employees of the Blues, are probably forbidden from doing so). ("Ah, reverend, you opted for our no-claim policy, which explicitly states no claim you make will ever be paid. Which, if you never make a claim, is a very good deal. But you had to go and make a claim and, well, there we are."). Like a marshmallow, such a promotion is pointless.

2. Hocky mascots. An oxymoron on its face, right? Right. Only, the Blues disagree, as evidenced by the giant, light blue bear wandering the seats at the arena. Sigh. I long for the days when the term "hockey mascot" elicited only visions of Nelson Emerson (Look, he threw the puck in the net with his hand! How cute is that!). Now, I'm burdened with the vision of a fat blue bear in a black suit, black tie, black hat and dark sunglasses. Why a bear? I have no idea. Hockey fans dig the big, furry mammal? Why a suit? I'm glad you asked. That would be because the team is called the Blues, and the bear is dressed like, that's right, one of the Blues Brothers. Sigh, again. Does no one over there remember that The Blues Brothers are inextricably linked to Chicago? That's where the movie was set. That's where creators Akroyd and Belushi honed their skills in 2nd city. A giant furry bear in a dark suit and dark glasses would undoubtedly be a Blackhawks fan, I don't care what color he is. Why are we associating ourselves with the city of our most hated rival?

To sum up: Free tacos for $2.25 each. And a mascot cast off from Chicago. Here come the Blues!

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