The Harry Roberts Award for the Most Tasteless Terrace Chant
Terrace chants have been described as a form of folk poetry; two years ago Barclaycard launched a competition to find a football chant laureate. Predictably a Barclaycard spokesperson stipulated that entrants were ‘not allowed to use obscenities’. But, as most football fans know, obscenities and football chants go together like the proverbial horse and carriage. Some chants aren’t just vulgar; they’re downright sick and tasteless. In February, Liverpool fans greeted the horrific leg injury sustained by Manchester United’s Alan Smith by chanting ‘John Arne Riise, I wanna kno-o-ow, how you broke his leg’ (to the tune of DJ Otzi’s ‘Hey Baby’). But this year’s winner is a Spurs chant inspired by Sol Campbell’s mysterious disappearance in February: ‘Sol, Sol, wherever you may be; you’re on the verge of lunacy; and we don’t give a fuck if you’re hanging from a tree; you’re a Judas cunt with HIV.’ Of course it’s unpleasant, but you’ve got to admire the way it ticks so many ‘yuk’ boxes in a short four-line stanza.
The next time you hear Barry Bonds complain about the treatment he recieves someone should just say, "Suck it up. You've no idea how easy you are getting off."
No comments:
Post a Comment